November 28 – “Surgery Chronicles: Day One B… Jokester”

Since any time in the hospital is not usually fun for anybody concerned (except maybe for the orthopedic surgeons who get to chisel out bones with a big ol’ hammer), I decided to try to get a smile out of everyone. The anesthesiologist, however, was tough. Straight-laced, by the book, perfectly professional all the way.  He finally headed out ... and proceeded to drop the notebook (my chart) right on my bad knee. I groaned and said, “Owwww.  That’s my bad knee. But it’s ok. I have another one. And you guys are gonna fix it now aren’t you?”  It took him a count or two to regain his composure, but he did finally grin. 

As I was wheeled into Operating Room, there was a hustle and bustle of activity, everyone doing his own separate job.  They told me it was time for me to do some work.  I had to crawl onto the operating table by myself.  Done.  Strapped in.

Finally the surgeon got everyone’s attention.

Surgeon: “Let’s begin the pre-op.”

Suddenly, everyone surrounded the bed, looking down on me. All I could see was a mass of eyes (the rest of the faces were covered by surgical masks).  I wondered if they were about to hold a prayer meeting right there.  Not unappreciated, but certainly unexpected.  Sadly, she had another agenda.

Surgeon: “What’s your name?”

Silence all around. Finally one of pairs of eyes closest to me whispered, “She’s talking to you.”

Me: “Oh, I thought we were going around the circle introducing ourselves. OK.  I’ll go first.” I shared my name 

Surgeon: “What is your birthday?”

I knew the game now.  I jumped all over that one. 

Me: “8-14-53”

Surgeon: “And what are we doing for you here today?”

Me (with a hint of a grin on my fully exposed face): “We are doing a full knee replacement on my right knee.”

Surgeon: “Right! Ok. Full replacement on your right knee.”

She then turned the page on her clipboard.

Me: Wait! No! It’s not the right knee. I was just kidding. The right knee is the wrong one. We’re doing the left knee.  Left.  The one that one of you guys autographed. Want to see it?  No!  Do the left one.” 

Surgeon (sighing and actually checking for the autograph): “Oh. Left knee.  Got it.” 

The whole room laughed out loud, And from somewhere in the huddled mass of eyeballs: “Not something to joke about right now, is it (snicker snicker)?”

I like laughter. I also like a relaxed and hence more focused Operating Room crew. 

I don’t remember much after that. The guy standing behind me said, “Here breathe some of this pure oxygen.  No, take deep …”  And then he stopped talking.  Or perhaps I just stopped hearing.  I was gone. 

Psalms 118:24 says, “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Father, thank you for taking over the focusing and relaxing part of the job for that OR crew.  They did a good job under your direction.  Amen.