November 14 – “Boot camp”

Well, it’s official.  Wait.  What’s that?  This just in … the temperature here on Galveston Island is 38 degrees with a wind chill of … 30.  Yikes.  I sure hope somebody catches enough flounder to make this worthwhile.

OK, back to the “official announcement.”  I have attended boot camp and in fact, graduated.  Yep, boot camp.  With apologies to the military, that’s what the hospital staff calls the marathon lecture session for patients getting ready to have full knee or hip replacement surgery.  For almost two hours Chris and I sat with ten or twelve others and heard all the ins and outs of what to expect with being a knee or hip replacement candidate. 

We each received a nifty little red notebook.  Inside were all kinds of informative bits and pieces of data, which when put together were supposed to magically transform us into well-informed, totally at peace patients.  The bulk of the notebook consisted of copies of the powerpoint slides from the lecture.  Stuffed into the pockets were phone numbers and drug information and when my follow-up appointment was scheduled, instructions on how to take a shower (and apply the special bacteria killer they gave us) the two days before surgery, and even a page with my surgeon’s picture on it.  Guess that’s so I can be sure to recognize her when she walks into the operating room.  Although by that time I hope to be out cold, or close to it. 

One registered nurse with the ominous title, “Orthopedic Nurse Navigator” (ONN), explained half of the material.  A physical therapist, “Rehab Manager” (RM), handled the other half.  RM did an OK job, but she was really good one-on-one when questions were asked.  I especially enjoyed it when one guy wearing figurative rose-colored glasses questioned the point about not driving for six weeks.  She looked at him and smiled sweetly and silently for a long three or four seconds before answering, “Yes, that’s true.”  She did finally fill in the blanks with an explanation of the loss of the physical ability to step on the pedals and being impaired by pain medication.  But by that time he had pretty much zoned out.  He kept muttering “six weeks” and shaking his head in dejection. 

Orthopedic Nurse Navigator, on the other hand, was the picture of confidence.  From behind her little jar of Gatorade she raced through her part of the presentation.  The thing that kept standing out about her, though, was the fact that she wanted us to call her personally if we had any questions or concerns.  And then she actually followed through on the spot.  One guy asked a question that could only be answered by his surgeon, so while Rehab Manager was doing her presentation, ONN called the surgeon’s office and got an answer on the spot.  Pretty impressive. 

I had three questions of my own that I asked after class.  Two related to the medications I take regularly.  Seems one of them showed up on the “Don’t take these for three weeks before surgery” list included in our folder.  ONN assured me she would talk to the doc’s office and get a ruling on the matter.  The second was about the meds I take for neuropathy and whether I could take them the morning of surgery.  Come to find out that just happens to be one of the pre-op medications they give anyway, so she said to ask that question of the surgery nurse when she calls on eth Friday before surgery.  The final question was about the jury duty conflict I have run into.  I have been called to jury duty before I will be cleared by the doctor after surgery.  ONN was obviously taken aback, but only for a second or two.  She assured me she would get a letter sent to me by the doc so I could forward it to the jury people. 

Two other informative details came out of the session.  They no longer use that machine to force your knee to move after surgery.  I remember Mom having one of those things.  Research has shown that there were no significant differences in patients using the machine and those who didn’t.  The whole point is to get you to move on your own, so the better idea is to get you up and moving as soon as possible.  Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.  The second little tidbit was a simple clerical thing.  Now I will be signed up for physical therapy rehab before I even sign into the hospital.  Efficiency. Right? 

So now for the next 12 days (Yup.  Less than two weeks) I get to attack my exercises and ponder the wonders of bionic living.  Sounds like fun. 

Psalms 113:5-6 says, “Who is like the Lord our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?”

Father, thank you for the information and especially the encouragement from ONN and RM yesterday.  Would you give them a particularly blessed day?  Amen.