February 15 – “Caleb’s Best of the Boogers”

I neglected to include in yesterday’s post one of the most significant revelations of our entire trip to Waco.  Caleb saw fit to enlighten us regarding that fascinating topic that, truth be told, all of us have considered intimately at one point or another in our lifetimes.  And what, pray tell, is this mesmerizingly memorable moment?  Why, Boogers, of course.

See, according to the wit and wisdom of Caleb Vaughan, there are at least six different types of boogers (Alternate spellings include buggers and even booggers).  And for your education and entertainment this fine February morning, here is the official, Caleb-generated list.  Sit back.  Close your eyes.  Allow the memories of your own childhood mining excursions to flow once again into your consciousness.

1.  Bloody – Now this type kind of speaks for itself.  Not the preferred discovery, to be sure, but they will often rear their ugly head after a blow to the nose.

2.  Black – I can remember having plenty of these, as can anyone who has spent time outside playing in the dirt, or perhaps putting out fires.

3.  Gooey – Now you’re getting into some of the more technical differentiations.  Though often the most difficult to extract, this particular type can be quite effectively rolled into a tiny little ball with your fingers.  But the problem is getting them to stay in that shape.  They have a tendency to stick to the fingers and thus stretch apart.  Hence … gooey.

4.  Wet-gooey – This variation on the regular gooey is not one that you would tend to actually see very often.  These are the inside-of-the-mouth boogers that help everyone understand the complex anatomy of nasal passages that drain into the mouth.  You know, when you close your mouth create a realm of negative pressure that causes whatever is lurking in your nose to slip uncomfortably down into your mouth to be expelled either out into the world or down into your stomach. 

5.  Watery – Somewhere between gooey and interior wet-gooey lies the Watery Booger.  This creature is perhaps the most easily handled because of it lack of gooey stickiness.  They often slip away onto shirt sleeves or the interior of the neck part of a t-shirt. 

6. Foot-long dangly – A real bonus that Zakary reminded his little brother to be sure to include.  These are masterfully formed extendables that can certainly be the life of any party of six or seven year old boys.  They are also historically least popular with mothers.

When asked to designate their most favorite of all types, Zakary had an immediate answer.  “They are all just gross.”  Caleb, on the other hand, pondered the question for a long moment or two.  Quite the connoisseur, he declared that he likes the watery kind best as far as fine cuisine dining goes.  In his most experienced opinion, “They are the most delicious food in the world.  And they help when you have a stomach ache.”

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”

Father, thank you for all of the types of food you have provided us with.  It’s good to have options.  Really good.  Amen.