February 25 – “Tunes in a bucket & hell in a handbasket”

Well, we’re slowly winding down on the whole colloquialism thing.  The next batch are ones that I don’t necessarily remember from childhood, but I definitely picked up later.  And have used a time or two myself over the years. 

“Can’t carry a tune in a bucket” was another one that fit well when applied to my singing attempts.  Oh, I kind of learned to match up with whoever was standing next to me, but by myself?  Not so much. 

“This ain't my first rodeo” I guess this one meaning “I've been around the block a few times” (Oh, wait, that’s actually another one.  Can you use one colloquialism to define another?) is more applicable among peers, so can see why I never heard it as a child.  

"The lights are on but there's nobody home."  And then there is its more modern equivalent, "One French fry short of a Happy Meal." OK.  So this is one of those rude remarks that I’m sure I never used against my peers.  And certainly never against my brothers.  I suppose it is quite descriptive, though, of someone who has said or done something less than wise.

"Don't have one penny to rub against another one."  First time I heard this one I actually had to stop and visualize two pennies in my hand.  Why you would rub them together is kind of a mystery, but I sure get the imagery.  One penny would be a windfall.  Two would be a miracle. 

"When pigs fly," meaning of course, never.  My farm folks up in Spring when I was growing up never had pigs.  At least I never remember seeing them.  Perhaps it’s a good thing, because honestly, my first image when I heard this one was of somehow getting one of those huge pigs up on the roof of a barn and giving it a shove to test out the theory.  Yeah.  Warped sense of humor, I know.

"Going to hell in a hand basket.”  Oh, now there was no way I would have heard this one around my house.  At least not from the adults.  Using the word “hell” in this way was simply not done in polite company.  Doesn’t take much context to figure out the meaning of the phrase.  Things are going from bad to worse.  I have absolutely no mental picture for a handbasket, though. 

The one in this category that I fell in love with for some strange reason was "wetting your whistle" when you needed a drink.  I can still remember the episode of Our Gang where I first heard it.  Spanky was supposed to be going to bed, but he kept asking for a drink of water.  After much difficulty, his Pop finally got him one.  Spanky took one tiny sip and put the glass on the bedside table.  His Pop was beside himself.  “Why didn’t you drink the water after all the trouble I went to getting it to you?” he demanded.  Spanky looked at him with totally angelic eyes and replied, “Well, I just wanted to wet my whistle.”  And of course good ol’ Pops smacked himself in the forehead.  Ah, great cinema.  But I was most proud that I figured out all by myself the reference to the scientific fact that it’s hard to whistle when your mouth is dry.  Speaking of wetting my whistle, I think I’ll go get a refill in my coffee cup.

Psalms 91:4 says, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”

Father, I appreciate that you have a handle on the weather.  But it sure is cold … and now wet … down here on the Island.  Keep folks safe who have to be out in it.  We’re just not used to it.  Amen.