February 23 – “Get on the stick”

Are you sick of my colloquialism tirade yet?  I have a boatload of ‘em left, so are you ready for some more?  Well, then I’d better get on the stick and get to it.  Yep, there are two of them right there.  I was always being told to get on the stick in particular.  I figured out pretty quickly from the context that it meant hurry up.  But what stick?  And how would getting on it help things?  I haven’t looked it up, but I have a hunch it might come from the railroad.  My Granddad worked on the railroad for years, so maybe he started it around our house.  Could mean to push the accelerator stick forward (lean on it) so the train would move faster.  Here are a few more that I remember hearing around the house and neighborhood as I was growing up.

Now I was raised in a household with two brothers.  We had four male cousins.  A family of three boys lived next door.  Two more lived about the middle of the street.  Two more lived around the corner.  Two more lived two streets over.  Lots of boy sin our neighborhood.  That kind of explains some of these, I guess. 

“Raise a ruckus” That was something we were masters at, if I do say so myself.  Come to find out the word is a combination of two others, ruction (meaning a disturbance) and rumpus (a boisterous activity).  Double whammy of bedlam, you might say.

How about "You're so loud you could wake the dead"?  Now why would an adult say that to a poor, unsuspecting kid, even if he was being loud?  Threatening us with walking dead people.  And you wonder why we were so fascinated with vampires growing up.

Then there were the inevitable “disagreements” among friends.  And on those “rare” occasions, one might hear things like …

"dumb as a rock"  or "dumber'n dirt"  Interesting comparison, wouldn’t you say?  Of course that was before I had read the Scripture where Jesus says it is possible for the rocks to cry out in praise of him if the people don’t do it.  Sheds new light on those insults, doesn’t it?

My older brother often heard how he was "smart as a whip."  And he was, by the way.  But, what does a whip have that makes it so smart?  I often wondered how I could get some.  Not that I was competitive or anything.  In a similar vein, there was "sharp as a tack."  He pretty much got that one as well.  Except of course when a little sarcasm was inserted into the mix.  You know, like when somebody does something really dumb that needs to be pointed out in a less than merciful way. 

"Strong as an ox" brought memories of Paul Bunyan and his pet cow.  Hey, I read something other than baseball books.  And where was I going to see a real ox in Galveston?  Well, maybe out at Schaper’s Dairy …

Now one that I did have applied to me quite often as a kid was "skinny as a bean pole."  Not that I ever saw a bean pole.  Still never have, as far as I know.  I do know I was pretty skinny growing up, and this one always seemed to solidify that status, although in spite of my lean build, I was always considered “fit as a fiddle” by our doctor.  Scary man.  Very large guy.  And very loud.  Very loud.  Dr. Caravagelli (We shortened it to Dr. Carv) had a nurse who worked for him for many years.  It was always frightening when he finished an exam.  We knew the next thing coming was a shot when he hollered out her name, “Almeda.”  Read shuddering here right now. 

Now one that I did hear often after my little brother was born (now my much bigger, black-belt-in-Tae Kwan Do, absolutely-favorite-younger-brother-of-all-time, please- don’t-beat-me-up brother) was "quiet as a mouse."  It was invariably applied in conjunction with a bribe of some kind to get us to be quiet when the baby was asleep.  For some reason a baby sleeping required a different level of quiet than Dad sleeping on the days he had to work a night shift. 

One great one that I have used even to this day was "if’n it was a snake it'd've bit you."  Yes, that one is kind of hard to decipher just looking at it, but it sure did the trick as far as clear imagery is concerned.  My Mom used it a lot, usually in her gentle chiding after she finally came to our rescue when we couldn’t find that missing shoe anywhere.  She always seemed to know right where it was.  And of course it was usually right in plain view.  But how can she expect me to find it when I had a comic book in one hand and a stack of baseball cards in the other?  Give a guy a break.

Proverbs 22:17-18 says, “Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips.”

Father, thank you for granting a gift of creativity to whoever came up with these sayings.  They sure make life fun.  Amen.