February 24 – “And then there were sports”

And then there were sports.  Oh boy, did I ever hear some creative things coming from the stands and the opposition bench (never, of course, from our bench).  It’s just that once the bad guys discover your most apparent weakness, it is in their best interest to take advantage of it.  For example, I understand one of the first things on any scouting report about me (well, OK, more specifically about my batting) was, “He’s like a fish out of water."  Now “floppin’ around like a fish outa water” managed to make its way into descriptions of my behavior in areas other than baseball, as well, but let’s stay on topic.  I know its intended meaning is being thrust into a job one is unqualified or unprepared for.  I guess that’s why it was a fitting description of my prowess in the batter’s box.  And you can imagine how easy it was for me to grasp the intended meaning.  After all I did grow up on an island with a Dad who ran a deep sea fishing boat as his business.

Speaking of Dad, he did his best to come to every game that he could.  He and Mom even spent numerous wedding anniversaries watching me play baseball.  Hey, not my fault.  They got married in June.  That’s right at the start of season.  But I remember one of Dad’s favorite cries of encouragement anytime I headed up to bat.  Ready for this one?  “Stay loosey goosey.”  Loose as a goose is the actual terminology, I think.  No idea what makes a goose any looser than others in the animal kingdom, other than the unfortunate circumstance of rhyming with the word.  I knew what Dad meant, though.  Relax.  Uh-huh.  Never happened. 

Some of the epithets hurled in my direction should sound quite familiar.  "He can’t hit the broad side of the barn" followed in rapid succession by, "He couldn't hit a barn if he was on the inside, with the door closed."  Ouch.  You have to understand something here.  It was bad enough that these things were even said.  But what made it worse was … they were right.  Even the guy who coached me at one point in my career, Mr. Green, once told my kids, “Your Dad was probably the best shortstop Galveston ever produced.”  Now if he had just stopped there we would have been fine.  Proud children, and all that.  But he continued, “The only thing was, he couldn’t hit a bucket of balls.”  And there it was.  So much for Hero Daddy.

Now I really did get a hit every now and then.  And as I got older I did get better.  Of course most of the time the response to my getting a hit was something like, “Look at that.  Even a blind hog sometimes finds an acorn (pronounced akern, of course).”  I know this is one of the carry-overs from the farm.  I heard Mom’s family use this one a lot, too, but I remember Dad using it first … and more often.  It has the idea of unexpected discovery, stunning surprise and absolute elation all built in.  It was especially applicable on the rare occasions when I did actually hit the ball.

Just as a final mention, when I was in the field, I changed into a different creature altogether.  I loved the challenge of fielding grounders and throwing the guy out at first, or turning a double play.  My Dad often said I was "cool as a cucumber" out on the field.  Of course I never did like cucumbers.  Still don’t.  I don’t mind their pickled cousins, though.  Oh, and I’ll close this segment with the ever popular, "blind as a bat."  Of course on the baseball field we all know who that refers to.  And I will not share some of the other “monikers” the dear old umpire had to endure.  We had a rather creative cheering section when I was in Little League.  Different rules back then.  One guy even tried to climb that really tall backstop fence behind home plate in an effort to show, up close and personal, his displeasure with a certain call.  I understand they don’t allow that sort of thing anymore.  That’s good.  Still, it was entertaining …

Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

Father, thank you for my Little League experience.  All of it.  I loved the game.  And I think maybe the experience had a lot to do with developing me into the character I am today.  Not sure if that’s good or bad, but I’m even more glad you were there to take the hodgepodge of experiences and mold it into something you could use.  Amen.