March 23 – “The Tale of the Haunted Bathroom”

During our excursion to Waco we were regaled with more than just church musical programs and grandchildren doing incredibly cute things.  Ah, yes.  This particular weekend was like no other, for we experienced … “The Tale of the Haunted Bathroom.”  Caleb unfolded the twisted tale of terror to us out on their deck.  Fortunately, it was still daylight, so we managed to avoid some inevitable screaming.  I cannot say with certainty that such shrieks will not result from your own reading, should you decide to continue.  Let the reader beware.

One dark and stormy night a young boy had to go to the bathroom before he went to bed.  It was very late and very dark.  As he went, he hit the center and before he knew it he found himself in the sewers, covered with rats who were biting him all over his body and before he knew it he became a green, slimy monster.  And that monster went back to his home and ate up all his family so he would have no descendants. 

Now, anytime anyone gets up to go potty late at night, between 1:00 in the nighttime and 9:00 in daytime, and when they hit the very center, he reaches up through the potty with his green slimy arms that have powerful suction cups on them that you can’t break away from no matter how hard you struggle and he grabs them and eats them.  That’s why they always find all those bones and body parts down in the sewers. 

And the main thing to remember from the story is this: “Don’t hit the very center of the potty when you have to go late at night.”

Indeed, I did not feel completely at ease in the bathroom for the rest of our visit, especially late at night.  And I have to admit that I, for one, was careful to aim for the side and not the very center.  Oh, I know what you are thinking.  “It’s just a story.  None of that is true.”  Perhaps.  Perhaps.  But Caleb did say he saw it happen with his own eyes.  Someone just disappeared down the toilet, held tightly – unescapably – by two slimy, green, suction cup-filled arms.  Frightening.  Horrifying. 

Revelation 15:3 says, “Great and marvelous are your deeds, Lord God Almighty.  Just and true are your ways, King of the ages.”

Father, thank you for the creativity and especially for the inner joy that was about to explode forth the whole time Caleb was telling his story.  Amen.