September 25 – “Search for sanity”

My search for sanity yesterday extended into all three of the areas I usually recommend in situations where life has thrown you a curve ball in the dirt and you were all set for a fast ball right down the middle.  Hey it’s still baseball season.  The baseball analogies will remain.  My fast ball down the middle was a herniated disc and the inevitable surgery that would accompany it.  That’s what I was prepared for.  That’s where my research had centered.  The curve came when that disc diagnosis suddenly became a synovial cyst with surgery not necessarily required.  I know.  Sounds a little better at first glance.  Can something sound better at a glance?  But what in the world is a synovial cyst?  Chris immediately started searching the internet for answers to that question.  I started on answer one to dealing with life’s difficult issues: Do something physical.  For me, about as physical as I can get right now is … well, going fishing. 

So I did.  And I got the physical workout as well.  The wind picked up and the waves got really choppy.  I was fishing at the new area where they are rebuilding the beach.  I was curious to see what the cuts and sand bars were like.  Didn’t take long to find out.  After the long hike to the water, I realized quickly that I was essentially fishing from what had been the second sand bar.  Once I got past the pests (ladyfish, needle nose eels and hardhead catfish) the fish I did catch tended to be bigger than the ones that used to hang out in the first cut back when there was a first cut.  That was a good thing.  I caught a few speckled trout and more than a few whiting.  Gotta load up again for the family fish fries to come. 

The second recommendation I make for overcoming the funk associated with life’s seemingly insurmountable issues is to get outside of yourself and do something for others.  So yesterday afternoon, in preparation for our homeschool coop and for the group that will be arriving this evening to stay in the retreat center, Chris and I went up to the church and loaded up the new cabinets with all the stuff we removed from the old ones.  They should be good to go now until the countertops arrive in a week or so. 

Oh, and what did Chris discover in her internet search?  Here are the highlights: A synovial cyst can be removed surgically, but it will probably come back.  If you do nothing, it will sometimes go away – after a year or two.  But to top it all off, we received our copy of the myelogram report.  And the doctor of radiology who read the films reported that the area in question that was giving me so much trouble was more than likely not a synovial cyst, but instead a bulge in the disc.  Hence our current state of confusion.  Now after following all three of my usual admonitions (1. Do something physical – check.  2. Do something for someone else – check.  3. Wait until the next morning before making any further decisions because joy comes in the morning -  everything tends to look better in the morning – check), I can’t say that our course of action is any clearer.  My back does still hurt.  I still don’t understand which diagnosis is correct.  I still have no idea what to do next.  But I know I can keep working out to strengthen my core muscles.  I know I have plenty of ways I can be involved in other people’s lives.  After all, I am a pastor … and a chaplain … and a neighbor.  And I know that when I go to sleep tonight, tomorrow will be a whole new challenge, a whole new opportunity, a whole new adventure.  Check, check, and check. 

Titus 3:8 says, “This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.”

Father, thank you for bringing peace amidst confusion.  It doesn’t always change the circumstance, but it sure is good to know you’re with me in it.  Amen.