July 23 – “The Toughest Calls”

I made a quick trip out to Galveston’s West End at around ten p.m. the other night.  I was joining the fire chief, not for a leisurely drive, but to make a visit to our fire station located there.  This was not to be one of those fun-loving, just checking in on the boys kind of visits, though.  This crew was just returning from the hospital after one of what is perhaps the all-time toughest kind of call a fire fighter can make – a possible pediatric drowning. 

I read about some of the details of the situation in the next morning’s newspaper.  According to their report, the four-year-old had been separated from her family.  They had been at the kiddie pool of the condos they were staying in.  Some of the family had already retired to their room.  The others apparently thought the little one had gone with them.  When they returned and realized the child was not there, they hurried back to the pool and discovered her near the bottom of the deep end of an adult pool.  Family members quickly pulled her out and began CPR.  When the fire fighters arrived they took over and stayed with her to the hospital.  Sadly, the young girl was later pronounced dead by hospital staff.

The chief called me and asked if I would drive out with him to check on the fire fighters involved in the rescue.  Some of the guys were “grizzled veterans,” so they were “handling it” the old school way.  And what would be involved in the “old school way”?  Lots of approaches.  Just take a deep breath and tough it out.  Acknowledge that “that’s just the way life happens, and sometimes it stinks.”  Have another cigarette.  Take a walk into yourself – your internal man cave - and ponder the things that matter most to you.  Change the subject altogether.  Take part in some of the good-natured ribbing that is a part of the fire fighter fraternity way of life so you can release some tension through laughter.  All valid, time-tested-by-men methods of dealing with extreme stress. 

Or perhaps they can take it to the next level, as these particular guys were strong enough to do.  Share a specific incident from your own past that this event brought to the forefront of your memory.  Recall how you felt back then and how you dealt with it.  After all, it’s safer to talk about something that you have already obviously overcome than something that might be eating away at you right now.  Draw on the comradery of someone else who has also been there, maybe even been there with you.  Feed off of each other’s strength. 

But what about the younger men?  What about the young father with kids of his own roughly the same age as the victim?  He seemed to be handling it pretty well.  I don’t know what approach he took.  If I was in his shoes, I think I might want to pull up some photos of my kids on the computer and flip through them for a while.  And while on the computer anyway, I’m sure I could find something on the internet to occupy my mind while I processed how I felt.  It was too late for a quick FaceTime call, but I guarantee you I would have a big hug waiting for them when I got off shift the next morning.  Or how about the rookie?  He’s a single young man, no kids of his own.  I thought about how Nathan handled stressful calls before he got married.  We would receive a phone call from him late at night, and he would begin with, “Mom and Dad, I love you.”  That was his tell.  We knew he had just returned from a bad one.  He would give Chris the basics and when she handed me the phone he would fill me in on a few more of the details.  Can’t have Mom worrying too much, right? 

I spent some time talking to that young dad and the rookie.  They both talked about the incident with me, what they saw when they arrived on scene, what they did, what the paramedics did both when they arrived and in the ambulance.  It was important that they hear themselves saying that they did all they could for the little one.  They both acknowledged that it was tough.  This was the rookie’s first critical pediatric call.  He assured me that he had done many adult calls with another department, though.  Again, it was important that he be reassured within himself that he is capable and has proven himself.  I think you both have proven yourselves admirably.  Tell your kids that you love them.  Often.  Communicate with your wife/fiancée that you love her.  Often.  And you might throw your parents into the mix as well.  They have been loving you for a long time.

As I understand my role as chaplain, this is another example of my place in the big picture of the department - being available to listen as the guys debrief after a tough call.  It is one thing to be on scene at a big fire.  There about all I can do is offer the guys some cool water to drink and pray for their safety as I do my best to stay out of the way.  I often end up fielding questions from citizens, and on occasion I get to pray with the residents of the burning structure.  But the chance to be a listener, a supporter, and an encourager to a fire fighter can really make a difference when he has faced a life and death situation, no matter what the outcome.  I guess I’m learning.  Maybe someday I’ll get this chaplain thing figured out.

Psalms 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Father, walk with all of our fire fighters when they have to make the tough calls.  Give them strength of character both to deal with the circumstance before them and to handle the internal struggle that inevitably shows up later.  Amen.