Tuesday, June 3, 2014

June 3 – “Evil thugs and hooligans”

Ah, the benefits of a talkative tech when waiting for a computer to load and install a large program.  I finally got up the courage to resume my dealings with hired techies so we could get our computer to once again recognize our iPhones.  So once again I started out with Apple, since the error code instructed me to “contact the manufacturer of your device.”  After wading through no less than eight different customer services representatives, each of whom did essentially the same thing (uninstall the five different subprograms that load with iTunes, then reinstall the whole thing in spite of my efforts to explain that it had already been done), I was finally connected with Mr. Talkative.  Very nice guy, don’t get me wrong.  But I found out way more than I wanted to about his life and times.  Recovering alcoholic.  Twenty-six years sober.  Really good relationship with his wife.  Catholic.  Connected with God through some kind of choir program at a Spanish-speaking monastery.  He is not Hispanic.  He can’t even speak Spanish.  And on and on and on.  We uninstalled the iTunes subprograms … again (“It has to be done in a specific order, and they may not have done it correctly”).  And he was no help with the problem.  His final appraisal was that I needed to contact either Microsoft or Hewlett Packard, the manufacturer of my computer.  Of course I do.

I started with Microsoft, and after five minutes waiting to be transferred to a techie and another five minutes waiting while he asked his supervisor what to do, I found out that the issue was not with Windows.  He recommended calling HP.  Already on my list.

When I finally connected with HP I was told right away that their services were not free.  Of course they’re not.  I could either buy a year’s subscription at $14.95 a month with a $70 buy out if I canceled early, or I could get a one-time service call for $29.99 plus tax.  I picked the latter.  Once that was established I was informed that this guy wasn’t even the techie.  He was just the “get their money” guy.  Whew.  At last, though I connected with a real-live HP techie.  He read me the requisite disclaimer and took control of my computer.  The first thing he saw was some kind of malware, so he switched through several different screens.  And discovered more spyware.  He finally changed gears altogether and said he couldn’t load anything until he cleaned up he computer first.  And so he began.  He installed five or six different software cleaning tools.  I’m not sure how long his cleanup program ran, but when it finished, there was another techie altogether on the scene.  Those programs isolated and summarily destroyed 1,134 evil thugs hiding within.  Once that was completed, you’ll never guess what he did next.  Yep.  Uninstalled and reinstalled iTunes.  But this time everything came online and began working fine.  One of those evil computer hooligans had been hijacking the iPhone connection.  When all was said and done, iTunes had been uninstalled and reinstalled no less that eleven times.  But I was finally able to download the pictures from Chris’ phone so she could free up some space for … well, more pictures. 

Isaiah 1:18 says, “’Come now, let us reason together,’ says the Lord.  ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.’”

Father, thank you for wiping away the evil hooligans in my life.  Please keep running your cleaning programs on me, because they are sure to return.  Amen.

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