Thursday, December 13, 2012

December 13 – “Stinky Wars”


We got to do another one of those FaceTime sessions with Caleb and Zakary the other day.  Great technology for grandparents.  Kudos to the iPhone people, for sure.  I particularly enjoyed one interchange between Caleb and Cailyn, who was over here at the time.  Those two are almost exactly the same age.  I think they came in just a week or two apart, if I’m not too mistaken.  As a result they seem to speak the same language.  I know they have many of the same ideas as far as driving parents cuckoo are concerned.  Must be a generational thing.  That’s always a safe place to place blame.  Anyway, Caleb and Cailyn got into an argument.  Not really an argument like you might expect a couple of almost four-year-olds to get into, though.  They were both laughing.  But they were both quite passionate about their individual claims.

Here’s how it went down.  They have discovered that if you move really close to the screen camera, it looks to the other person that you are moving close to them.  Definitely gives rise to a myriad of possible scenarios.  Throw in a random suggestion here and there from an innocent bystander such as a grandfather, and a mundane conversation suddenly becomes a situation comedy worthy of viewership around the globe.  Well, maybe it wasn’t quite that big a deal, but I thought it was mildly entertaining. 

I began when Caleb stuck his bare foot near the camera’s eye.  I simply remarked in an offhand fashion, “Oo-wee.  That’s one stinky foot you got there.”  And in a kind-hearted effort to make sure his young son had adequately heard and processed the comment, his Daddy added, “DadDad wants to know if you have stinky feet.”  And that’s how it began.  Attack after attack of the stinky feet began.  How could Cailyn not join in the fun?  Hey, I even wanted to take off my shoes and get in on the fun.  Almost did, too.  But that’s about when the verbal part of the battle reached its height.  Caleb and Cailyn were obviously engaged in a negotiation of some sort.  Were they attempting to reach a peace settlement?  Not so much.  It did have to do with the offending appendages, however.  They were trying to determine who had the, well, the stinkiest feet.  Caleb’s final proclamation was, “Mine is one hundred stinky.”  Wow.  That’s pretty hard to beat.  I figured the issue was pretty much settled right there.  But no.  There was a female voice yet to be heard in this matter, and she was determined to have the last word.  Cailyn countered with, “Well, mine is …” (She paused here, probably to gain the needed dramatic effect before making her final pronouncement) “Well mine is twenty stinky.”  OK.  I know what you are thinking.  In our world a hundred is usually considered higher that twenty.  But we were dealing with three-year-olds here.  And they have a language of their own.  Remember the whole generation gap thing.  Caleb seemed to back down.  Maybe it was because his Dad intervened in an effort to get the subject changed before it escalated into something beyond his control.  I think it was already beyond our control, to be honest.  No, I think there was something in the language of the two three-year-olds that said, “Twenty trumps a hundred every time.”  Perhaps I should turn over my data to a sociological research center.  Maybe I could get it published.  “Intricacies of speech patterns among three-almost-four-year-olds and their ability to confound the elderly.”  Nah.  On second thought, the meanings would probably change before it ever reached print.  And I sure don’t want to be an object of ridicule among that generation.  I can hear it now.  “Twenty greater than a hundred?  That’s so yesterday.  Everyone knows that garfel or even otricious is the way to go.”

Psalms 47:1 says, “Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.”

Father, you are truly the most garfel and otricious One that ever was or ever will be.  Amen.

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