December 17 – “Keep it in the can”

Thumbing through our vast array of DVD’s, Caleb’s Mom came across one that I found a long time ago, probably at a Cracker Barrel store.  They are the only ones I know of that sell this kind of stuff anymore.  It was a collection of 100 of the “best cartoons ever made.”  Well, at least someone’s idea of the top 100 “Classic Cartoons.”  In this case I’m afraid “classic” may just have been a code word for “old.”  I’m not at all sure exactly how old, either.  It included such greats as: Betty Boop (that would be the World War II “hot babe” I think), Baby Huey (Isn’t that the massive baby duck?), Heckle and Jeckle (the crow-like bird pals), Hunky and Spunky (I still have no idea who they are.  I have yet to see their one obviously overwhelming favorite contribution: “You can’t Shoe a Horsefly”), Mighty Mouse (Everybody knows Mighty Mouse, right?), Raggedy Ann (Which came first, the cartoon or the doll?  Obviously the doll should have stayed away from the big screen), and Woody Woodpecker (My personal childhood favorite, a sarcastic, more than a little bit crazy bird that beats his head against a tree on purpose … what’s not to love?).  Plus, there are cameo appearances by a host of other strange animated heroes that I certainly have never heard of.  Some, I must say, are to this day calling your name, demanding that you rush right over to Cracker Barrel land get your own copy (or just borrow the one I have.  It’s available unless Caleb is around).  I admit I haven’t seen them all, but how about these great titles (Truly something for everyone in the family): Boy Meets Dog (A love story?), A Car-Tune Portrait (For the family mechanic), The Fresh Vegetable Mystery (Health food fanatics?), Les Escargots (Foreign language film aficionados?), Professor YaYa’s Memoirs (for the senior adult in the mix), Sultan Pepper (get it? salt and pepper? Teehee).  And then there is always Along Came a Duck (That one I want to see now.  What thrills, what chills, what sheer excitement must lie in wait behind such a captivating title). 

But back to Caleb.  The majority of the cartoons, beating out Betty Boop 31-22, are headlined by one particular character.  None other than that beloved icon of human history, the original spokesman for vile, slimy green globs of matter that come in a can, the one-eyed wonder … Popeye the Sailor Man.  Now, Caleb had never before seen such a character in his young life, and he was utterly fascinated.  This was an entirely new mythology he could wrap his head around.  Much simpler than the intricate workings of the Jedi brotherhood.  Not so many characters to keep up with.  Popeye, of course.  Bluto the evil curmudgeon co-sailor and rival for the romantic affections of the “lovely” model for modern-day modeling, Olive Oyl.  Wimpy the lovable hamburger-eating pal who never has any money to pay for his treats, but always promises to “pay you back on Tuesday.”  The baby who comes wrapped in a blanket that comes to a point at the feet (always seemed strange to me).  And was it Popeye who hosted the little alien guy and the dog that disappeared?  Sorry, sometimes my grasp of animated worlds is less than accurate. 

When all the other cousins disappeared into the nether world of outdoor play or eating some Blue Bell, Caleb remained, loyal as ever to his new-found friend with the can of strange substance that imbued him with unspeakable powers.  I carefully timed my entrance into his world so that it occurred between episodes.  I wanted to ask but one question, the question that would reveal whether the show was still having its desired marketing effect even after all these years.  I stepped between him and the TV to get his full attention and asked, “So, Caleb … are you going to start eating spinach like Popeye now?”  I know canners of spinach across the globe were waiting for his answer on the edges of their seats.  Slowly he stretched his couch-cramped muscles, turning his eyes over toward me and his nose up in utter disgust.  Somehow I knew the direction his answer would take.  Finally it came, “My mom doesn’t even cook spinach.”  Ah-hah.  There it is folks.  The answer that is no doubt timeless as to why more youngsters don’t eat their spinach … wait for it … Mom doesn’t like it either.  And if Mom doesn’t like it, you just ain’t gonna see it.  Thanks, Moms everywhere, from decades of Popeye-loving children who want to root for their hero, but would just as soon leave the spinach-eating to him.  “I’m strong to the vintage, ‘cause I eats me spinach …”  Nope.  More like, “Keep it in the can, Sailor Man.”

Daniel 1:15-16 says, “At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.  So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.”

Father, thank you for all the incredible foods you have provided us.  Oh, and it took me awhile, but that spinach of yours is not so bad after all.  Amen.