Because of the incomprehensible generosity
of my beloved wife, I was blessed to undertake one of those oh-so-dreaded
experiences that have the potential of mind-boggling pain and agony. That’s right.
What else could it be? I went to
the dentist. Chris made us appointments
for some time in October, but they called and offered to move her appointment
because of a cancellation. Mind you, it
was supposed to be her appointment they were offering to move up, not
mine. But that loving wife of mine,
thinking only that should I end up having back surgery I might miss out on my
appointment, so graciously requested that she be allowed to give up her spot to
her back-damaged husband. They
agreed. I mean, after all, who doesn’t want
to help out senior citizen? Looks good
on their resume, I guess.
So I rushed out after water therapy to be
on time for a dental cleaning. That’s
all it was supposed to be for. Of course
I had to fill out a boatload of paperwork relating to insurance and my
medications and my medical history. I
thought they had all this stuff from the last time I was there. I was quite the compliant patient,
though. No arguments from me. And once I turned in the paperwork they
immediately called me back with that ominous, “Mr. Vaughan?” voice.
The hygienist was very nice. Did some preliminary preparation things, like
look at my history, which led her to ask, “Have you been to a dentist anywhere
else since the last time you were here?”
Oh, no. Not me. I assured her I was as loyal as a puppy
dog. Yes, I really said that. The thing was, the guy who was my dentist hadn’t
been there for several years. I think he
retired. So that meant a whole array of
x-rays and baseline tests. Great
fun. When she left to develop the x-rays
I snuck off to make a quick bathroom break.
Wasn’t quick enough, though. She beat
me back by a few seconds. It was worth it.
Though, to see the puzzled look on her face.
She told me she had never lost a patient like that. I told her I was happy to oblige in furthering
her scrapbook of experiences.
And then she started her work in
earnest. And it didn’t take long to
discover that I am an unbelievable anomaly to the dental world. I have essentially perfect teeth and perfect
gums. Oh, and I haven’t been to a
dentist in (drumroll here) … thirteen years.
And to top it all off, when she asked if I floss, I replied, “Not
really.” See, that’s a nice way of
saying flat out, “No way” to someone whose career is predicated on the “You must
floss every day” lecture. But I was
brutally honest. I don’t floss. Now, kids … don’t try this at home. It will not bode well for you to invoke the “I
read it on the internet” excuse in this particular case, even if the author is
a pastor. I can tell you now, it’s not
gonna fly. The hygienist did finally
ask, “Well, you DO brush twice a day, don’t you?” That I do.
That I do.
When she finished up her cleaning, and came
up with a completely positive report (“Keep doing whatever it is you’re
doing. And … you really should floss”),
she turned me over to my new dentist.
And I have to say up front the cute young thing that stuck her fingers
in my mouth was way better looking than my old friend from thirteen years
ago. Sorry, Dr. Robby. My new doc was pretty impressed as well, but
she did find a filling that was having some trouble staying attached. After all, it has been thirteen years of me
chomping on Cheetos and washing them down with sweet tea and eating the ice
(never been one to waste a good ice chomp).
She recommended fixing the filling and putting a cap on the whole
thing. Whatever you say, Doc. Whatever you say. Of course we’ll have to run that by the
insurance company first. I’ll have to
get back to her on that appointment. I
did make a return appointment to have another cleaning in six months. Can’t remember ever doing that. But maybe it’s better that waiting thirteen
years. Let’s see. That’ll put me at … 75 years old. Still but a spring chicken.
1 Thessalonians 3:13 says, “May he strengthen your hearts so that you
will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord
Jesus comes with all his holy ones.”
Father, thank you for the good report. I needed that. Amen.
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