May 7 – “Spewage happens”

Spewage.  No, that’s not misspelled.  I’m not talking about the stinky stuff.  Spewage is usually delivered in an unexpected burst rather than through a neatly devised system of pipes and pumps.  There are many forms of spewage, though.  Perhaps the most inventive I have ever seen, in fact, involved a dual delivery system.  OK.  Had enough of the mystery?  Chomping at the bit to hear more specifics about this enigmatic phenomenon?  If you are chomping at anything, perhaps you should swallow before you continue.  There.  Now … spewage.  How to impart a definition for an occurrence so universal, yet so … so … frowned upon?  Spewage might be defined as the unintentional discharge of liquid or solid particles of sustenance from orifices of the body not generally intended to be points of expulsion.  Whew.  Had to work hard to get that one out.  I think you know what I’m talking about here.  You have just taken a bite of some great Homemade vanilla Blue Bell, or perhaps a swig of your first coffee in the morning.  You have had it in your mouth just long enough for the succulent juices to flow over those taste buds on your tongue.  And someone says just the right thing – the right funny thing - that invades your pleasurable moment of enjoyment.  Every instinct within you is in conflict.  On the one hand you know that you are still a good two or three seconds away from that final, delectable moment when you actually make you swallow, savoring the flavor all the way down.  But on the other hand, you have always been one to appreciate those random, hysterical moments that might not seem funny to anyone else, but at the time it seems that the most hilarious scenario is being played out before your very eyes.  And who wouldn’t let out one of those good, deep, from the belly, beyond a chuckle yet not quite a fully developed laugh?  And the two drives clash, just beneath the surface.  Swallow, then laugh.  But it is so funny.  Swallow, then laugh.  I can’t hold back.  Swallow, then laugh.  It’s coming.  All this taking place in the split seconds before … spewage.  Whatever self-control you thought you had disappears, along with whatever remnants of coffee or ice cream you were still harboring.  Some explodes through your now open mouth.  In a full-blown, out-of-control spewage, some manages to make its way through your nasal passages, only to leak out, or be expelled in a less-than-dainty fashion.  And after the spewage?  Ordinarily then comes the downright laughter.  You forget what it was that made you spew in the first place, because there is nothing quite like the embarrassment of having committed spewage in public.  On the one hand you are mortified.  On the other, you have just played a part in what was most assuredly the funniest thing that has happened in your vicinity since … since … that last time someone spewed.  You remember?  It was …  And so the spewage stories begin. 

And why such a treatise on spewage so early in the morning?  Well … OK, so I spewed yesterday.  Chris and I were in the kitchen talking.  I was enjoying a fresh cup of coffee, and had just taken a long swig.  And she made the comment that we should really take down a picture we have had on out fridge.  Now, there is nothing wrong with the picture.  It is of two very good friends of ours we have known since seminary days.  And there is certainly nothing wrong with the folks in the picture.  I think she just wanted to make some room for some more grandchildren art or something.  But for some insane reason, that simple statement struck me as funny.  I don’t know why.  Perhaps it was the silly grin on the face of the guy in the photo.  Perhaps I remembered some fond goofiness of days gone by.  Honestly, I have no idea why it seemed so funny.  But spewage happens.  Often for no reason at all.  Now, it wasn’t the nose-leaking kind of spew this time.  Just a simple spray whatever is in front of you spew.  Coffee flew.  All over the fridge – and the picture of our friends.  All over the floor.  Oh.  Did I mention that Chris was standing within range of my involuntary spewage seek and be-spew monitor.  Yep.  Got her.  And then?  We laughed.  And laughed.  We gave in to those from-the-belly explosions of mirth.  We laughed so hard Cailyn came in from the other room to see what she missed out on.  Ah.  It was good to laugh like that again.  Really good.

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Father, thank you for the gift of laughter.  Nothing quite like it.  Amen.