January 27 – “ensure-ing a place”

The other day Mom was drinking some of that ensure stuff that supposedly tastes like a milkshake.  I have never tried it, so I will make no judgments.  It does look like a milkshake, I guess.  A really thin one.  Anyway, she gets very excited when we hand her one.  It is a very special treat to her.  As she slurped down the last of hers, she commented, “Mmm.  That’s so good.  Nani would sure like this.  Can we get her some next time we go to the store?  You know, my mother.  I know she would like it.”  Nani was our name for Mom’s mother.  Nani K. (for Kelley, which was her last name), because Dad’s mother was also Nani.  She was Nani V. (for Vaughan, of course).  We weren’t completely sure how to answer that one.  I never have been clear on whether to enter into the mistaken delusions or to correct them or just to ignore them.  I have read “expert” opinion on all of those, and honestly, I have probably tried all of those at one time or another with Mom or Dad when he was battling Alzheimer’s.  The easiest, and probably the most fun for me, has been to join them in the delusion, to carry on the conversation with them as of it made perfect sense.  Chris on the other hand is a master at deflection.  She can always think of some other topic that effectively distracts her away from the subject at hand.  There have been times, though, when I have been really weary and just couldn’t come up with anything.  At those times I realize that I have just held her gaze and smiled.  After a few seconds she returns the smile and moves on to something else.  Whatever tactic seemed best for the situation, we have really tried our best not to lie to her.  Our response to the ensure query was a simple, “I’m sure Nani would like it.  We will be sure to pick some up next time we go to WalMart.” 

Mom also asked again the other day when we were going back to Galveston.  That has been a regular theme off and on for quite some time now.  We assure her that we are in Galveston and that this is her home and that her room in right here in this house.  She can’t figure out how to say exactly what she means, but this time she countered, “But we have so much stuff there that is not here.”  I think that maybe she thinks that she is visiting us in Colorado and feels like she is wearing out her welcome.  And this outrageous cold weather is not helping with that situation.  Especially if it does snow some tomorrow like they are predicting.  All we can do is keep on reassuring her that she is welcome and safe here.  And loved. 

Psalms 91:1-2 says, “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”

Father, wrap your arms of security around Mom so she can feel your presence wherever she is and know she is always at home with you.  Amen.