April 22 – “Back at Home”

Yesterday was a mostly quiet day.  Mom slept a lot.  We talked to the doctors and confirmed decisions yet again.   The difference was this time they pretty much admitted that they agreed with us.  Several nurses, patient care techs, and even the Occupational Therapist who have worked with Mom over the course of her hospital stay stopped by to say goodbye.  They all agreed that she had been “a real sweetie to work with.” 

The hospital hospice team came and we were able to finalize everything with them as far as in house concerns.  I made some phone calls to check out local hospice agencies, and received nothing but good reports about Hospice Care Team, based in Texas City.  As it turned out, they were the ones who cared for Uncle Jerry last week. The hospital staff contacted them for us, and before long we met with one of their chaplains to take care of their paperwork.  The old guy sported a white goatee and was very mellow.  So much so, in fact, that he reminded us of an old college professor we used to have, Dr. Cain.  He had the slowest cadence of speech of any human being I have ever met.  This guy was probably a close second.  We wanted to jab him in the ribs or something to get him to speed up just a little bit.  Very sweet guy, though.  He patiently went through each paper we had to sign and offered to answer any question we might have had.  I was afraid to ask him anything, though.  We would have still been in there. 

The other decision we made was to bring her home to our house for her final days.  We had thought about taking her to the Meridian care center.  In fact she still had a room assigned to her there for the rehab that was originally supposed to happen there.  But Chris really wanted to honor Mom by allowing her to come home.  We chuckled a bit as remembered Mom used to say she didn’t really want to die in the same house where she was born.  She did want to be at home, though, wherever that might be at the time.  Josh and Nathan went back to the house to clear out a space for the hospital bed, which hospice had delivered within a few hours.  April joined them when she got off work, and apparently she cracked the whip to get them to do more than just move furniture.  The whole house was cleaned up, and even the dirty dishes were being washed.  She ran over to WalMart and got some sheets for the bed, and added a little personal touch we appreciated.  She put on the bed the afghan that has been adorning the foot of Mom’s regular bed for years.  Sweet touch, April. 

The home hospice nurse arrived within about an hour to go over things with us.  She told us we were supposed to have been informed of a home care kit that had been called in to the Kroger pharmacy.  We never got that message, but the pharmacy was still open, so I made a quick trip and picked it up.  It consisted of some of the basic care prescriptions we would need for Mom’s comfort here at home.  She went over each of them with us.  Chris of course knew exactly what each one was for, but I was happy that she went through them anyway.  I sure didn’t know a thing about them.  She checked Mom’s vital signs and listened to her heart and lungs.  She also told us that we would be receiving several visitors the next day.  A social work case manager would be by to go over the care plan with us and familiarize us with their policies and procedures.  Another nurse was also supposed to come by to continue the evaluation process.  And an aide would be coming every day (or at least five days a week) to help with baths, medications, emptying the catheter, and anything else we might need.  It was good to hear that so much help was available from them.  It was also good to read the posts of encouragement and offers of help from friends.  It is not easy in the midst of such a situation to have a handle on what you need, though.  You just aren’t thinking in those terms.  It’s all about the care of the loved one from our perspective, so please don’t think us ungrateful.  We appreciate every tiny expression of love and support whatever it might look like.

So our first night back at home was fraught with the anxieties of EMS personnel and nurse visits and calls to the emergency hotline of the air conditioner repair company (forgot to mention that one, didn’t I) and frantic trips to get to the pharmacy before it closed.  There finally came that time, however, when Mom was resting comfortably.  Chris got her much-desired shower.  We settled in on the couch, took a deep breath or two, and watched an episode of Once Upon a Time that we taped while we were in the hospital.  Around 10:00 we turned off the TV and most of the lights.  Chris settled down on one couch and I took the other so we could hear if Mom needed anything during the night.  Sleep came in intervals, at least for me.  I’m not sure how much Chris really slept at all.  I woke up at 1 a.m. to some soft moans, and when they increased in intensity, Chris was at her side, turning her, cleaning her up, and calmly comforting her.  I helped a little with the turning part, following strictly as I was led by the incomparable head nurse who is the woman I married.  We settled back in, and repeated the process closer to 5 or 6.  This is going to be an interesting portion of our opportunity to walk with Mom on this last part of her journey to Jesus.  We can feel the spiritual strength that results from knowing friends and family are praying.  Keep ‘em coming.

Numbers 6:22-26 says, The Lord said to Moses, Tell Aaron and his sons, “This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them:

‘The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.’”

Father, here we go on this last leg.  So glad you’re walking it with us.  Come on.  Amen.