Thursday, May 14, 2020

May 14 – “Call of the (WalMart) Wild”


Just a quick anecdote today.  We spent most of the afternoon yesterday chatting with Jennifer.  She came over to kill time while her dog was being groomed, and ended up staying for pretty much the whole afternoon.  Guess it took us that long to catch up on Corona news in each other’s households …

So on to the anecdote …
I made a WalMart run for some printer toner.  All this copying of song sheets for Sunday is taking its toll.  And the addition of a Visual Versed on the back uses that much more. 

Ah, WalMart.  Great place to gauge key cultural mores (no, that’s not a misspelling of smores.  I just don’t know how to put an accent mark in there.  It’s pronounced “morays.”  Means the way people do stuff) such as social distancing and the like.  Well in this case I have to say I saw an interesting array of masks among the staff.  A few of them even covered entire mouths and once in a while - a nose.  Most were hanging as decorative necklaces.  My favorite, though, was the lady who had deftly draped one across her right ear.  It looked like one of those extra-large earrings you see. 

Along with the toner cartridge, I happened to stroll past the movie rack, and before I knew what was happening a wolf leapt into my basket.  Well, that’s not exactly accurate.  I didn’t have a basket.  But the wolf was there, nevertheless.  It jumped on me as I tried to innocently pass by.  I did my best to fight it off, but from the start it had its teeth clamped around my fingers.  OK, that’s not exactly accurate, either.  It was my fingers that were clamped around its teeth.  See, I was actually the hero in this scenario.  And since we had been through so much together, I had to bring it on home with me. 

The name of the feral movie was, appropriately, Call of the Wild.  Rated PG for all you Moms out there.  A classic film based on a classic tale by a classic author, Jack London.  Perfectly fitting for the classically WalMart event that occurred next.  As I scanned the bar code at the self-service line, the light started flashing and one of those error codes appeared that requires a checker to enter a special code to clear.  I was confused and intrigued.  As the young man scanned in his release codes (He was fully and appropriately masked, by the way), I saw the problem.  The computer asked him to verify that I was at least 17 years old.  He glanced in my direction once.  Then he whipped back around a second time.  “Sorry,” he explained.  “I just have to make sure.”  I chuckled and queried as to the machine’s choice to card me for a PG-rated movie.  He assured me it was nothing personal.  “The machines do the same thing for Sharpies, you know?”  I replied that I knew that one.  After all, you can get high sniffing Sharpies.  Then he added, “You’re right.  And last week it caught two 13-year-old girls actually trying to buy … get this … fingernail polish remover.”  I simply shook my head and offered, “Horror of horrors.” 

1 John 3:18 says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

Father, please give that young man from WalMart a great day today.  He certainly brightened up mine yesterday.  Amen.

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