June 21 – “An Uncle Si Bobblehead … really”

The hotel we selected randomly on our first night in Louisiana ended up being five minutes from the funeral home.  Great.  Well, it would have been if we hadn’t gone to the wrong funeral home first.  Not great.  It also had that kind of slimy water that feels like your skin is all greasy and the soap never washes out (The hotel, not the nursing home).  Not great.  They even had a special page in the room handbook that was a disclaimer assuring us that the water comes from a special aquifer in Arkansas that is perfectly safe.  Great?

Then we figured out that it was less than four minutes from … drumroll here … none other than … the Duck Commander Warehouse.  Now we’re talking truly epic.  We were forced to drive by after supper and take a selfie.  Then, since the hurricane hadn’t hit yet, we just had to go back during business hours and check out the phenomenon.  I was hoping for an appearance by Uncle Si.  Of course it was worth it.  Well, we didn’t get to see any of the family.  It was only 9:30 when we were there.  I don’t imagine they have to get out of bed before noon, much less come to work.  I did fill for Godwin in his chair for a few minutes.  Chris wasn’t satisfied with my redneck ambition though, so she had me switch over to Jase’s chair for another photo op.  Next we made our own duck calls.  Got to keep them, too.  Mine has Uncle Si’s name on it.  Chris’ is pink.  It says Mrs. Kay.  As part of the tour deal we also got Duck Commander caps.  Oh, and bobble heads.  I got Uncle Phil.  She got Mrs. Kay.  We did add a little bit to our souvenir bag before we left.  Chris bought a Mrs. Kay cookbook.  They gave her a second one free.  I found an Uncle Si bobble head.  It was screaming at me to pick it up.  Had to do it.  Besides, it was only 5 bucks. 

The rest of the day was kind of a blur.  An amazing, Vaughan-vacation kind of a blur, though.  We left West Monroe and found a road that was generally pointed west.  That wasn’t originally our intention, but we were also monitoring a certain unwelcome visitor named Cindy that was rapidly forming in the Gulf of Mexico.  It looked to be headed for Louisiana, so we hightailed it out of the swamps.  Along the way we found a few strange and unusual sights as well as some more eating places that Chris wouldn’t stop at. 

Downtown Rustin, home of angle parking and “We Buy Guns.”  We didn’t stop.

Fred’s.  We saw a few of those.  I think it was a grocery chain, but it was named Fred’s.  That’s an awesome name.
Grambling State University, mills, logging and railroads.

Chickadilly.  Nope.

Finally we arrived in Gibsland.  That was supposed to be the site of the Bonnie and Clyde Ambush Museum.  We followed Google Siri’s instructions to the letter.  Well, until she said we had arrived … in front of a bunch of trees and a ramshackle house or two.  Chris quickly turned around and headed back into town.  On a hunch we kept going for a few blocks in the opposite direction of Siri’s instructions.  Imagine that … there was the museum.  Come on, Siri.  The museum itself used to be the very deli where Bonnie and Clyde stopped for sandwiches just before they were ambushed on the road.  That “last meal” motif carried throughout the museum.  It was a tiny place, really.  But then a lot of floor space was dedicated to the mannequins they had dressed and bloodied and laid out next to replicas of their graves.  Every speck of wall space was covered with photos, including the gruesome crime scene photos taken immediately after the shooting.  They had a brick from the chimney of the actual house that served as a hideout for the pair.  One exhibit was and interesting array of buttons and cloth fabric scraps and a lock of hair.  It was entitled, “Things that people may have collected as souvenirs from the bodies.”  My favorite was the Superboy comic for sale ($30) where Superboy meets Bonnie and Clyde.  I remember that issue.  It was hard to tear ourselves away from all that gruesomeness, but we were getting hungry. 

Chris wouldn’t stop at Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club.  That was all her.  I didn’t even see the sign until she pointed it out.  We finally ended up at a Five Guys hamburger place.  Ah, somewhere familiar.  We went inside to evaluate where this storm was at the moment and to plan our next move.  We decided it would be prudent to head further west to outrun that scamp.  We received updates throughout the day from Nathan and Christina, and April, bless her heart, actually went over to the house and secured Chris’ plants and our table umbrella.  Thank you, darlin’ daughter-in-law.  Left us free to …

James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless.”

Father, thank you for family we can count on to keep us in the loop of important events.  Amen.