Big day for the old man yesterday. It was my one year (almost to the day, as I
recall) checkup for my new knee.
Although I guess it’s not really new anymore, is it? So my implanted knee, then.
The appointment was at 8 a.m. I didn’t know the clinics were actually open
and operating that early. As it turned
out, I was very happy with the time. I
get up early anyway, but apparently not many other people do. There was one guy sitting in the waiting
room, working on his laptop when I arrived.
I had to wait for someone to come to the front desk, but when they did,
things really took off. I checked in and
paid my co-pay, then went and sat down to wait.
After about a two count (Yes, I
mean “one, two”), the clerk called me back to the window and directed me to
go the radiology department for an x-ray.
That was totally expected. In
fact it has been the routine since I have been going to this place. I knew my way there.
The x-ray check-in went just as
quickly. There were no patients
there. I checked in and within seconds (more than two, but still quickly) I was
called to the back. The x-ray tech and I
discussed the Astros. Both long-time
fans. Me since they were created in
1972. Him since … well since his whole
life. He could only claim 38 years, so I
had him beat. The chat took longer than
the actual procedure, and I returned to Dr. S’s office.
I handed in my ID papers and sat down. Another two count (still no one else but Laptop Guy in the waiting room) and I was
called back. One quick stop at the
weight machine and we entered the room.
The nurse started her entering into the computer with me peering over
her shoulder. Usual stuff. Any changes?
Have you fallen? I did notice one
thing she wrote in her notes, though.
“Pt ambulates independently.” I
love being the victim of medical gobbledygook.
She saw me chuckling and asked what was wrong. I told her, “I just so appreciate your keen
ability to choose words so carefully to describe my condition.” She looked at me quizzically. I continued, “It was masterful. The way you said ‘The old guy can get around
all by himself” was amazing.” Again she
looked at me with questioning eyes. I
finally made the connection for her, “Patient ambulates independently. Nice vocabulary usage.” She finally saw where I was coming from and
joined in my chuckle-dom. She offered,
“That was just so they know that you don’t use a cane or a walker.” Yep.
They wouldn’t be able to tell that when they walk in and see me,
right? But I get it. Hey, proper use of medical terminology is a
dying art. Kudos for doing your part to
keep it alive.
The doc did come in with one of her baby
docs tagging along. She started as she
always does, with a comment about the x-rays.
This time it was, “X-rays show everything is right where we put it last
year.” Well, then. That’s good to hear. I haven’t had any attempted escapes that I
know of. She asked all the expected
questions, then asked how far I could bend it.
I pulled it up like I was doing a cannonball into the pool. “Whoa,” she replied. I was a little worried. “Was I not supposed to do that?” I
asked. “Oh, no,” she replied, “It’s just
that not everybody can.” Next came the
straightening out test. She reached to
help, but I got it done with no assistance.
Again she was impressed. She
looked to her student and said, “Did you see that?” Kind of felt like I was in the freak show out
back at a circus. She also asked if I
could kneel. Seems that is the one thing
most people say they can’t do. I assured
her that I could indeed kneel, it just feels weird. She finally formally decreed that I was a
free man. She said I could come back
every three years or so just to make sure it was still doing what it was
supposed to do. I told her she could
call me if she just needed to talk. That
one kind of took her aback. The student
just laughed nervously.
As we walked outside the room, the doc
pointed at her current resident and said, “Show him.” The guy immediately jumped up and ran over to
us. Not sure what I was supposed to show
him, I danced a little jig. Dr. S shook
her head and said, “No. The knee
thing. Bend your knee.” Oh, sure.
Of course. I obeyed. The resident was impressed. Dr. S. then stopped in her tracks, looked off
into space, and pondered for a moment, “Hmm.
I’m gonna have to check and see what resident it was that helped me with
this one. He gets an A.” Glad I could help with the grades, young man. And as for me ... "Pt ambulates independently."
Psalms 100:4 says, “Enter his gates with Thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give
thanks to him and praise his name.”
Father, thank you for the good news on the knee
front. Amen.
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