Now
most of you who know me know that I am generally a calm, cool, collected
in-control kind of guy. That is
important to establish up front here, for the altercations of which you may
have heard came not from my heart in a fit of rage. Nay, nay.
These confrontations, rather, were simply a rational response to a bit
of a crisis situation.
So
… what did happen? It all began back at
our Christmas party. Mrs. Betty wanted a
cup of coffee, and whatever Mrs. Betty wants in this house, Mrs. Betty
gets. Chris pushed the brew button and
went about her business. Only “brew”
never took place. Oh, there was noise
coming from the coffee maker, all right.
And the water even appeared to be heating up. But did it ever slide through onto the
waiting grounds? No, it did not. Now in that situation we just happened to
have had our good neighbors present at the time, so Janell went across the street
and brought theirs over. Crisis
averted. Mrs. Betty got her coffee.
Chris
spent the next day running vinegar through the mechanism three or four
times. And when she was finished, the
machine was working perfectly. And so it
did for the next few days. Right up
until … it didn’t. Same issue. All noise and no substance. Kind of like somebody claiming to be a
Christian but not living a consistent Christ-like life. Nothing but racket. Gets all heated up within himself, but never
has anything to offer in ministry to others.
So what would you have done in that situation? Being as I was the only one awake at the time
the creature was roaring loudly and accomplishing nothing, I did what any sane
human being would do in my place … I smacked it one. Or two.
I popped its innards with a finger flick worthy of a rowdy kid’s ear in
a quiet church. I’m not sure which
tactic exactly was the one that did it, but suddenly the percolator started
percolating. Ah. Coffee for another day.
Little
did I know that one day was all it had in it.
That time. The next morning it
began again. Lots of noise. No coffee.
Hadn’t it learned anything? If
that’s the way you live your life, eventually you will get disciplined. And who was I to mess with the natural order
of things. I slapped again. I flicked again. I shook.
And finally … there came the coffee.
That was yesterday. I had my
system all worked out now. And when I went
in this morning all prepared to once again do battle … the coffee was all made
and waiting for me to pour a cup. Of
course it was. No slappage
necessary. All that had to happen was for
it to do what it was created to do. Will
it do it again tomorrow? No idea. Will it receive “discipline” if it does
not? Oh, yes. And if it continues being worthless and in
constant need of discipline? Other
arrangements will have to be made.
Psalms
119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my
feet and a light for my path.”
Father,
thank you for the wonderful inventions that make our days so comfortable. Amen.
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