Chris went shopping at the mall yesterday. I didn't join her. Now sometimes I do go with her on those jaunts. It's nice because on the way home we usually stop somewhere for a nice lunch together, just the two of us. Not so much that it's romantic or anything like that. It's just that we rarely get to do much when it's just the two of us. But this time she had a plan in mind.
She has been looking on the computer website of the only place she can find clothes that she likes and that fit her right, so I knew something like this was coming for quite some time. She was determined to make the long trip into Texas to take advantage of a particular sale they were having. I wasn't sure how long that would take. And I didn't have anything in particular that I needed to accomplish on the North side of the causeway. So I decided to stay at home. That meant I would have to mow the grass and trim the tree in the absent neighbor's yard (the one the bank owns). Not to mention finishing up preparations for Sunday's service. But I decided to tough it out.
While she was gone Nathan gave her a call. She informed him that she was not at home. Surprised, he asked where she was. I guess the fact that he was surprised shows we don't get out much. He was also kind of surprised to find that I wasn't with her. That's when she explained my "usual demeanor" when I accompany her on shopping trips, although I can't understand where it comes from. She said when I go with her to a clothing store, all I do is "stand around looking bored, and when she asks what I think about a particular item I say I don't have an opinion." Ouch. She actually noticed.
I confess. Most of the time I really don't have an opinion one way or the other. I'm not good at all with colors, and styles have very little meaning to me, either, unless they are extreme. And Chris wouldn't have anything to do with extremes, anyway. For years I have done my best to be more interested in the person than in what he is wearing. And with Chris in particular, it doesn't matter what she wears. I care about her. On the other hand, I have learned over the years that in situations like those she wants me to say something. She wants me to have an opinion about it for her sake. Tough thing for a guy to learn. Even tougher to actually do. It means you have to pay very close attention to her likes and dislikes. You have to remember the things she has appreciated over the years. You have to care enough to crawl into her shoes and seek out what would be the best for her. You have to actually love her. That's a lot of work. And I have a long way to go in this particular arena, obviously. But I am trying.
So … Nathan's response? Something along the lines of, "Wow. Dad's more like me than I thought." That's my boy.
Proverbs 26:2 says, "Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest."
Father, help me … and Nathan … to be sensitive to our wives and what they need. Even when it's a lot of work. Amen.
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