July 27 – “It is what it is.”

Physical therapy went well yesterday.  I had to go through another complete evaluation - for my lower back this time.  Question after question and the dreaded, "on a scale of one to ten what is your pain …"  I still don't understand how that could help anything.  Either it hurts or it doesn't.  And even then, what do you mean by hurt?  Does the tingling and numbness equal hurt?  Very frustrating stuff.  Apparently the stenosis is the big stumbling block to the type of exercising I can do.  If there is not much room for the nerve to get through, there's just not much room.  Nothing but surgery can change that.   Once we got to the actual exercises she did say I was a good student.  I was apparently doing them correctly.  Only two of them were particularly difficult.  One she called the Plank.  You lay on your stomach, stiffen up your body and raise up on your elbows and toes.  That was tough, but the real killer was doing basically the same thing, except on your side.  That meant using only one elbow and raising the other over your head for balance.  Ouch.   Her parting comments sounded like common sense stuff to me.  Keep doing the right stuff.  Don't sit at your desk for too long at a time – get up and move around.  Chris tells me that all the time, anyway.  And she even reminds me.  Sometimes gently.  I'm supposed to start walking again, but I have to make sure I have good shoes.  That one I know I need, but my knees are rebelling at the very thought of it.  I'm supposed to bring back the green stretchy thing and trade it for a blue one.  Green is too easy.  Agreed.  Finally, she said I had the best outlook on my situation of any patient she has ever had.  It's not going to get better, so I have to learn to live with it.  My response was, "It is what it is."   Proverbs 20:27 says, "The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being."   Father, I know you know the deepest part of me.  Please keep your lamp on me.  Amen.