December 22 – “A New Language”

Our latest mission has been to try to learn Mom's vocabulary of grunts and groans.  We're pretty sure she uses them unconsciously to let us know something, but we haven't figured out what that "something" is yet.  Some days she'll walk the whole way down the hall, get her breakfast, sit at the table and eat, take her morning pills, get a cup of coffee, and sit down to read the paper – all that without a sound.  But let Chris or me walk into the room, and the noise-making begins.  Sometimes it's very quiet, almost like a sigh.  Other times she takes a deep breath and flat out groans.  Most of the time, though, its best described as a grunt.    We tried to approach her by asking if she was OK, or if she was cold, or any of the myriad of choices that could cause one to grunt.  Her usual answer is a sweet, "I'm fine."  I'm not as good at coming up with ideas of what it might be as Chris is.  She can examine the room and come up with some great possibilities.  It's like watching a Mom and her child.  All of a sudden she'll randomly say, "So are you hungry?"  That was it.  Or "Your coat is in the closet."  Bingo.    Not me.  I finally just asked her to teach me how to know what the grunts mean.  And Mom has been great.  Lots of fun as usual.  Now when she grunts I look at her and ask what that one meant.  This morning she struggled into her chair near my desk and started reading the paper.  After awhile it started.  So I stopped typing and turned to look at her.  She said, "What?" about the time I said, "What?"  That's when I asked her what that last one meant.  She laughed and said, "Oh, it means 'Hello, there.  How are you this fine morning?'"  "Kind of like Aloha?" I responded.  She grinned, so the next few times I heard a grunt, I hollered out, "Aloha."  And we both would laugh.    Kind of reminded me of the times Dad would come over for coffee after he was diagnosed with Alzheimers.  We would sit in the rocking chairs and drink coffee and read the paper and most of the time I had no idea what he was talking about.  But it was good to be there.  I miss that.   Psalms 37:39-40 says, "The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.  The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him."   Father, I miss those coffees with Dad.  Tell him I said hello, OK?  Amen.