September 17 – “A Shield”

I took a trip to Bay City last night.  Late.  And came home last night.  I got back around midnight, but couldn't get to sleep until sometime after one.   Chris' Mom slept most of the day.  In the early evening she woke up and asked Chris to call all her family to come over.  And she wanted me to come and pray.  Chris began by texting me and just letting me know what was going on.  Her brothers were there.  Her Dad's son and his wife were there.  One sister was there.  I finally just texted back, "What's going on?"  She called me.    Now for Chris to go ahead and make a call kind of put significance to the situation.  But she was obviously standing right with her Mom and Dad.  She very formally asked if I could come.  She said her Mom wanted me to say a blessing of some kind on her marriage.  Sounded very strange.  I asked Chris what her Dad thought about it, and she didn't answer.  This call sounded urgent enough.  I started packing up to make the drive.  I brought the stuff I usually do when I spend the night, but I had no idea what would happen when I got there.    On the way to Bay City the bugs were everywhere.  So many splattered on the windshield that it was beginning to obscure my vision.  I finally hit a red light, so I squirted the windshield and ran the wipers until I could see again, but it was a futile effort.  By the time I got there the whole front of the car was covered.   Her Dad is more than a little bit angry at God and hostile toward anyone who represents him.  That has put me squarely in his crossfires ever since this whole thing began.  But I am married to his daughter, so he was forced to put up with me.  And on occasion we have even had some good talks, as long as he did moct of the talking and the topic stayed somewhere in Alaska.  That's his favorite vacation destination, the site of many trips the two of them have taken over the years.   Chris later told me that he wasn't all that keen on me praying, but her Mom really insisted, so he begrudgingly agreed.    The drive down there was an odd one for me.  I alternated between listening to the Christian radio station and driving in silence so I could pray.  It was a big struggle – trying to come up with some kind of appropriate prayer that would comfort her Mom yet not totally alienate her Dad.  I though about scriptures.  I toyed with scenarios for awhile, but it hit me that doing that was making something a problem before it became a problem.  Sometimes I didn't pray.  I just sat there in the silence and tried to listen.  The only thing that came to me was, "Let it go.  I'll meet you there."  Not that I heard those words.  In fact I couldn't put actual words in there until just now as I was typing.  But that was definitely the message.   I got there amidst the family gathering and tried to stay in the background so I could assess what was happening.  Chris' Mom was awake, but obviously weak.  I heard her Mom tell one of the brothers that she had asked me to pray.  He was all for it.  At one point her Dad and the Son went outside.  I almost asked then if we could pray, but something held me back.  Time just wasn't right.    The Son & his wife decided to leave 9 or 9:30.  They had to drive back to Friendswood.  My eyes met Chris' and we knew it was time.  I very quietly asked them if they would like to joind us for prayer.  They were the first to join hands in the circle that forned around the bed.  Chris' Dad, though, went into the kitchen.  He could watch and hear, but he did not want to personally participate.  When the circle was complete, I looked around.  Everyone had his bowed so I couldn't really see fces.  And I still had no clue what I was going to say.  But at that moment I didn't feel panic.  I didn't feel fear or anger.  But I felt a sense of peace within the circle.  I asked one last time for God to help with words, but again the call was clear.  "Let it go.  I'm here."    And finally it hit me.  It really didn't matter what words were spoken in that circle.  The important thing was the hearts coming together in a bond of love that resulted in a great sense of peace.  It was like a shield had been thrown up around us.   Afterward her Dad remained quiet, but the anger was obviously just below the surface, so Chris and I decided that it might be best for me to head on back home and let him have some time to process it.    Honestly, on the way home I felt pretty dumb.  Why couldn't I think of anything cool to say?  What kind of pastor am I anyway?  Depressing, huh?   This morning I checked my facebook account and there was a message from Chri's sister-in-law.  It was a great word of encouragement that came just when I needed it.  Feeling somewhat more energized, yet still holding on to that little bit of selfishness that makes depression the devastating evil that it is, I went to Sam's to pick up the burgers and hot dogs for the big blowout at church Sunday.  The checker there tried to get me to upgrade our card.  I told her that I couldn't do things like that.  "I'm just the pastor."  She immediately went into a monologue about how I wasn't "just" anything.  I was the guy who was "there for us, who helps us, who stands with us."  Wow.  How did she know?  Again, it was just what I needed to hear.  And to top it off, I drove through a pretty bad thunderstorm on the way home.  The car looks great.  De-bugged.   Psalms 18:30 says, "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.  He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."   Father, thank you for that shield you put up last night during the prayer.  It was humbling to be there.  Amen.