September 13 – “Nurse persona”

It started simply.  Both groups were favored by the queen, proudly raising their standards and flying their colors.  Yet both were determined to take over more and more territory.  Strange indeed, for they operated under names of such serenity.  Lilies.   Blue Flowers.  How could there be enmity?  Yet hostility reigned in the absence of the calming spirit of the Queen.    The two captains had each enlisted spies and mercenaries to infiltrate enemy territory.  The Wicked Enforcers of Evil and Destruction were happy to sell their services to the highest bidder.  Or in this case, to both bidders.  And soon their deadly presence threatened the very existence of beauty in Domain East.   The situation with Chis and her family is getting more and more tense the closer her Mom gets to death.  Emotions are beyond frayed.  Each one deals with the tension in his or her own way.  Her Mom tends to get very depressed and cry.  Her Dad is always angry, so little frustrations combine with personal assumptions with him, and he has what might best be described periods of venting where he retreat into his personal cave and refuses to talk.  And if someone tries to get him out before he's ready, he reacts with an outburst of pentup emotion.  Chris on the othe hand has not been sleeping much.  She jumps up at every sound to check on her Mom.  As a result her emotions are also raw.  She struggles to maintain a "nurse persona" but often the "daughter" jumps up aand forces its way into the forefront.  She has no one to talk to except when she texts me.  Again, I'm so glad we have unlimited texting.  She too does her share of crying.  Doctors are still amazed that her Mom is hanging on.  The whole situation makes for one tense drama after another.    Here's an example.  When I go to see Chris I try to stay in the background as much as possible to avoid adding to the tension.  Today her Mom interpreted that as a problem, because I wasn't talking non-stop with Chris' Dad.  She later told Chris' sister (on the phone) that her husband and her son-in-law were "at it," so she had to take a "happy pill."  Sure brought to life the old saying, "Don't make it a problem until it becomes a problem."   She has great things to say about the hospice caregiver who comes over to help bathe her.  The lady is bubbly and kind and just celebrated her 69th birthday.  She likes the hospice nurse a lot, too.  She won't do anything different with her medications or her routine until she clears it with that nurse.  And the social worker still has a reserved seat any time he wants to come over and talk, and he is a believer.  Not so much the chaplain, though.  He is not allowed in the house at all.   This week is going to be a tough one for me.  I'm concerned for Chris.  That's the biggest thing.  It's always there in the back of my mind.  Used to be that I worried that her Mom would die and we'd have all the funeral preparations and stuff to go through.  Now it's not that.  Now it's praying that Chris will be able to make it through just one more day at a time without reaching "that point."  We have the big grand opening celebration at church this weekend, with all the preparations involved there: sermon and ribbon cutting and open house and dedication service and recognitions.  Mom has some kind of doctor's appointment Thursday, and I have to make sure she eats something every day.  I'm supposed to call and find out the results of the blood test I took to see if I can continue on the rheumatoid arthritis medication.  It rained a lot when that last tropical storm came ashore, so the yard needs to be edged and probably mowed again by the end of the week.  And speaking of that, why not throw in wondering what we would do if that next storm gets in ths Gulf and heads this way.  Would Chris evacuate?  Would I?  What about Mom?    OK.  Deep Breath.  The Word.   Mattheew 6:28-34 says, "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."   Father, protect Chris.  Grant her your peace.  Restore her joy.  Allow her rest.  She's determined to walk through this.  Please let her sense your presence as she does.  Amen.