June 7 – “The 45th Report”

Our big 45^th anniversary weekend is slowly drawing to a close, I suppose.  Kind of quietly evaporating into the ever-warming skies.  Well, ever-warming now that Tropical Storm Cristobal appears to be dissipating somewhere near Louisiana. 

 We had some really good moments in our celebratory few days thus far.  We had a good long chat with Josh to start the day off Friday.  Friday evening Chris made a chicken fried steak dinner.  Nice to get started a day early.  Then we sat on the swing in the back yard with a cup of ice cream and reminisced about where we were 45 years ago.  Hmm.  Neither of us could remember if we had a rehearsal dinner, much less where it was.  Was that even a thing back then?  We ended up chuckling about the things we remembered from each of our boys’ weddings.  I thought long term memory was supposed to come back.  Ah, well.  I gotta admit I never thought sitting quietly together on a backyard swing would ever look like so much better an option than even going out to eat.  Of course, the crazies that came in with the tourists this weekend made the decision an easier one. 

 Yesterday – the actual anniversary day - I got up early and went to the store to pick up some roses.  45 of them.  Well, 48 actually.  One for each year we were married and three to represent the Father, Son and Holy Spirit at the center of our marriage.  How else could it have lasted so long?  I placed one cluster of them on the chair Chris generally sits in every morning to have her coffee and read through the news.  One went on the kitchen counter where she cooks breakfast.  One went on the dining room table where she works planning out our vacations.  And the final bunch went on the couch where we sit in the evenings to watch TV and talk.  Her comment was, “There are roses everywhere.”  I also presented her with the required gift for the 45^th anniversary (Hey, I did my research), some sapphire earrings.  Been saving up for that one.  They’re pretty, but of course their beauty pales next to hers.

 I really liked her gift to me.  A new critter.  He’s a stuffed chicken named B.C.  That stands for Beach Chicken.  He’s wearing an inner tube, sunglasses, and some very classy shorts.  I told Chris I wanted some just like those.  She answered a bit too quickly and altogether too abruptly, “No.”  She also made me a fried egg on toast, my current favorite breakfast. 

 Our anniversary lunch was a pickup order from Shrimp n Stuff.  Can’t beat popcorn shrimp and a tall glass of Chris’ sweet tea.  Then it was time to brace for a visit from the LaMarque Vaughan’s.  Christina brought over pulled pork and baked potatoes.  Kel came when he got off work.  We ended up playing three different games.  One was Uno with a Spiderman twist.  No one won that game.  Longest in history, so I’m told.  We finally just declared a draw do we could eat some supper.  The second game was called Telestration.  It’s a take on the old game of “Telephone” where you whisper a phrase in someone’s ear all down the line and then see how the message changes.  In this case though, the message is sent by drawing a picture.  On one round Micah drew a perfect picture of Texans star J.J. Watt.  By the time it got back to him the picture had morphed into a soccer field.  Guess we’re not very good artists.  The final game was called The Resistance.  It was one of those spy mission games where you have to carry out a mission while you try to figure out just who the bad guys are, while the designated bad guys are trying to sabotage the mission without being discovered.  Lies, intrigue, fast talking.  The first round Kel and I were the designated spies.  We won.  Mainly because Kel convinced Micah that Jachin was the bad guy.  Micah vowed never to fall for that ruse again. 

 Now, as I understand it, our weekend is not over yet.  We have church this morning, of course, but them we are heading over to Nathan and April and Cailyn’s for dinner tonight.  Wonder if it will be fried chicken …

 Meanwhile, I saw this post from one of the firefighters who is also a sheriff deputy:

“The seawall is stupid now, absolutely no regard for any law or the respect of other people.  People waving guns, showing guns.  There is going to be a shooting tonight.  People stay home.”  Sadly, he was right.  Thankfully after Kel and his crew had safely arrived home.  The only difficulty they had was making their way around the girls who exited their car at a stoplight and danced in the street.  Now that would have been a fun way to celebrate our 45^th.  WooHoo.  Hmm.  Maybe for our 50^th …

 Matthew 5:14 says, “You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.”

 Father, thank you for our quiet celebration.  Please protect our first responders.  The weekend is not over yet.  Amen.

June 6 – “Happy 45th Anniversary, Chris!”

I’m not sure I can even count to 45, much less divulge any deep dark secrets of lasting 45 years in the same relationship.  I tried to remember the names of all the dogs we have had over those years.  From Gideon to Freddy.  We are not cat people.  But we did have a bird when we first got married.  Parakeet.  We named him Noah because he knocked over his water trough and caused a flood.  I can remember the names of our kids pretty well.  Kel and Nathan and that other one … the one in the middle.  Oh, yeah, Josh.  Pretty good kids.  Glad we kept them around.  And then they all got married.  Nice choices all the way around.  Christina and Christi.  It was all very confusing with all the “Chris” action.  Nathan vowed never to date a girl with that particular syllable anywhere in her name.  True to his word he found an April.  Those three young ladies began the process of teaching us how to do girls.  Well, OK.  Read here “teaching me.” 

And then came the joy of joys, those wonderfully quirky creations called grandchildren.  Now I have to remember ten more names.  Let’s see … Jachin and Zak and Micah and Caleb and Cailyn and Josiah and Noa and Luke and Ezra and AnnaGrace.  Is that ten?  Fortunately I still have a paper calendar that reminds me when birthdays occur.  Well, I also have a walking, talking calendar called Chris who can remember dates and names and even how much they all weighed when they were born.  Did I mention that she is amazing?

This lovely lady stuck with me through four or five neck surgeries (I always lose count), a chronically bad back, as well as a new knee installation.  She stuck around through Southwest Houston, Northwest Houston, inner city Houston, Fort Worth, Mansfield, Denver, and Galveston.  We lived through an apartment fire and had to start all over again after Hurricane Ike.  For someone who was warned against “those ministerial students” when she left for college, she blossomed into an incredible ministry partner and eventually an actual pastor’s wife for the last 25 years (in August). 

We managed to get in our 45^th anniversary cruise to the Panama Canal shortly after her “Big” birthday cruise to Alaska.  Sounds like we are cruising pros, doesn’t it?  Well, those two are the extent of our travels on the water, but we are aficionados at land travel.  Our “day trips” that tend to extend into “week trips” have become legend, especially the ones where we know an ultimate destination, but go out of our way to experience fun sights along the way that surprise us.  In fact we can’t wait for the Corona restrictions to ease in other states.  We have a trip to North Dakota sitting in our back pocket, just raring to be released.  And the Grand Canyon.  And Pennsylvania.  And … Hawaii. 

I guess I plan to stick around in this marriage thing for the duration.  Love is a hard habit to break.  Guess that’s by design of the Designer …

Proverbs 31:1 says, “A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.”

Father, thank you for my young, Spring chicken bride.  I love her.  You did good.  Really, really good.  Amen.

June 5 – “Just push the button”

I spent another hour or so on the phone yesterday.  Yep.  All at once, not making numerous calls.  I received a text from Dianne, our illustrious and gracious volunteer who monitors the phone messages at church.  Seems she had tried to access the messages as she usually does, but was met with a recording telling her the account had been suspended.  Wonderful.  Just a day before I had spent a week on the phone trying to track down a different issue – one that led to the discovery that our phones themselves were not working.  So when we went to WalMart to get groceries I picked up a new set of phones to install. 

And then came the weird computer alert that some intergalactic interference had led to our service being disconnected.  I hooked up one set of phones and made the dreaded call to the service department.  Dreaded, why?  Because it is one of those set sequences where you can’t just get a human being to speak to.  First you have to let the computer do its thing.  Then you wait ten minutes for the computer to call you back.  Then you tell the computer that whatever it did was not helpful.  Finally it connects you with a human.  Thankfully the two ladies I have worked with have been really helpfully and exceptionally pleasant.  You made some good hires there, Comcast. 

After doing some initial tinkering on her end, my specialist (Named Candy) asked what I had been dreading.  I had to be in the same room with the actual modem.  That is kept in the office upstairs in the retreat center.  So I took off, carrying with me the second phone set I purchased to be installed in the retreat center.  While my new friend then ran a systems check on the modems, I hastily plugged in the new phone so it could begin charging.  It took several false starts and rabbit trails, but finally I heard what I had been listening for the last two days.  “Oh.  I see the problem now.”  Guardedly optimistic, I rushed over to the modems again to see what might look different.  But it wasn’t the modem at all.  Wasn’t even the phone system per se.  Apparently someone at their office had pushed the wrong button and turned our service off.  All she had to do was just push that button again.  Problem solved. 

Psalms 119:165 says, “Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.”

Father, thank you for the great helper I got to work with yesterday.  Bless Candy with an easy day today.  Amen.

June 4 – “A close one …”

Started the day early.  I had to meet the Bug Guy at church for our three-month spray for roaches and the like.  I don’t think anybody has seen any live beasts yet.  We did see an array of dead ones, though.  Things are working.  I think we are pretty well set for re-opening the retreat center to groups who have reserved it for the summer.  They have to set their own distancing guidelines and the like, though. 

While there I called Comcast about the church’s phone service.  Any incoming call was going directly to voice mail.  On site, there was no dial tone to attempt calls out, and the phone never rang.  Obviously I had to call on my cell phone.  The computer ran the first check.  It remotely restarted the modem.  No change.  After that it connected me with a human being.  Finally.  She was really nice and quite helpful.  As it turned out I had to go upstairs to the retreat center office to check the phone modem there.  Seems we have two modems for wifi because of difficulty connecting.  And upstairs we also have two telephone modems.  All appeared well with them.  Then she wanted me to check if there was a dial tone.  No phone in that office.  I had to run downstairs.  I grabbed the one in the kitchen, but halfway up the stairs I realized this was a remote unit and not a base unit.  There would be no way to plug the phone cord in.  So I ran back down the stairs to get the base unit.  And then back up the stairs to try to connect it.  I say “try” because I discovered the electrical outlets in the office don’t all work.  That will get checked out ASAP.  I did find one that worked to get electricity to the base, and following directions I then plugged the phone cord into the back of the modem.  And nothing.  In a nutshell it confirmed that we need to buy some new phones.  The problem was with our equipment, not the service.  WalMart. Here we come.  Hope they still sell land line phones …

On the way home I stopped for gas.  Gotta keep the tank full with a storm in the Gulf.  As I was exiting the parking lot at Randall’s, I noticed a movement in the rear view mirror.  A tall, very thin man had stepped into the street right behind me and was stumbling drunkenly in front of traffic.  The two cars behind me slammed on their breaks, narrowly avoiding a collision.  The guy casually completed his travel across the street, oblivious to the consternation of the drivers.  That was a close one …

We had a FaceTime call from three-year-old Ezra.  He does that periodically.  This time he had a bit of news.  His Mom got a new phone.  They completed the swing set in their back yard.  They went to “Jack Books Park” to play.  Oh, and he knew how to spell his name.  That one took some prompting from Mom, but he finally got it out.  Sort of.  His take came out with a hearty laugh like this: “E – Three – R –A!”  Come on, you gotta admit that is a pretty funny way to spell your name.  And think of how next year will sound: “E – Four – R – A” …

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

Father, thank you for our little FaceTimer.  Watch over him as he grows and adds numbers to his name.  Amen.

June 3 – “Ungrateful machine …”

I had one of those interesting computer days yesterday.  It took an inordinately long time to boot up for starters.  Never a good sign.  And once it did, and I made an attempt to open the Word program, the snail-paced loading began.  This time it never moved beyond the little screen that says “Loading.”  I tried closing down the box, but it would even do that.  Even the old faithful, “Control.  Alt.  Delete” function wouldn’t shut it down.  I finally had to reboot the entire computer.  It took a while, but I finally made it in and got started on work on the teaching for Sunday. 

Another issue that has developed with the computer involves its ability to connect with the television.  We were trying to watch the Columbus Avenue Baptist Church Family Vacation Bible School worship service.  I figured it would be easier to see if we could just screen share the live stream to our TV.  Like how I used those new-fangled words there?  “Screen share.”  “Live stream.”  I’m a veritable technology genius.  Except … I couldn’t get the function to work.  We have used it many times before, but for some reason the search function of the computer just can’t locate the television any more.  I’m doing everything like I always did, but it just isn’t there.  The only thing I can figure is that one or the other or both have taken the concept of social distancing to heart.  We watched the service on the computer by itself.  Maybe that was the issue.  The computer was feeling a little jealous and wanted some alone time with us.  As if all the time I spend on it working is not enough?  Huh.  Ungrateful machine.

Well, early morning for me today.  I’m off to meet the Bug Guy at the church.  We have groups coming in to the retreat center beginning this week, so we want it to remain bug free. 

2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.”

Father, thank you for the access we have to technology.  It really does make our work and our lives easier.  Amen.

June 2 – “On bobby pins, Q-tips and a Post-Corona-Cut”

It was time to brave another appointment that had been put off for three months or so.  This time it was my hearing aid checkup.  One of them had already had a piece break off.  The same piece had done it before, so I wasn’t really worried.  That time the lady just broke off the rest of it and said to hang in there until a replacement part came in.  It was still working, so I didn’t worry about it then or now.  Fortunately, however, she happened to have the piece in stock this time.  

One of the main parts of these three month checkup exams is when she uses her monster magnifier to peer into the depths of my ear canals to see how dirty it is in there, or if I’ve been growing roaches or brain mites or anything.  As she got the machine prepared for the look-see, she commented that because of the virus, if she did see anything, she was not allowed to take it out.  Interesting.  In my best, most innocent-sounding voice, I replied, “That’s OK.  I’ll just go home and get a bobby pin and stick it in there and scrape it out.”  She just about had a heart attack.  “Nooooooo.  No.  No.  No.  Don’t you dare even think about doing that.”  About then she noticed my smile and realized I was kidding.  Gotcha.

The first ear was fine.  No gunk of any kind.  The second one apparently had a small collection of suspect matter.  Enough for her to ask, “Have you used a Q-tip in that ear?”  Again, as innocently as I could muster, I replied, “I haven’t lately, but I’ll be happy to if that’s what you recommend.”  The rant almost immediately began, “Nooo ...”  And then I stopped just as suddenly.  “You need to stop doing that to me.  Don’t ever use a Q-tip in your ear … (blah, blah, blah).”  She gave me the whole “cramming the bad stuff further down and blocking the ear drum” spiel.  I just smiled sweetly, of course. 

Upon completion of her lecture she did ask, “Have you had a haircut recently?”  I explained that I indeed had my first Post-Corona-Cut just the other day.  I told her about how my hair stylist was a member of our church.  She had watched one of our FaceBook Live broadcasts, and she had called me to set up an appointment.  Guess I looked pretty shaggy on screen.  Well, apparently some of that “shaggy” decided to hang around inside my ear.  She wasn’t worried enough to recommend using a bobby pin though.  Maybe next time …

John 15:7 says, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

Father, please bless my hearing aid lady.  She is a lot of fun.  Amen.

June 1 – “A venture into the shade”

Forty-five plus brave souls came to church yesterday.  That doesn’t count however many more watched on FaceBook Live.  Speaking of that … here’s a suggestion for a ministry someone may want to partake in.  As you watch on FaceBook, simply respond to the comments people make.  If they ask for prayer, assure them you will pray, and then do it.  If they have a question, answer it.  If they just make a comment or indicate that they are online with us, acknowledge them.  Just a matter of creating personal connections even in cyber space.

We tried an experiment in anticipation of future hot weather.  No, not outdoor air conditioning.  We simply moved our location a bit to the north and set up under the retreat center building.  Some picnic tables were already there, so we had some built-in seating.  Pastor Jim figured out a way to run electricity to the sound system and instruments from the retreat center, so they had more flexibility.  Folks still brought lawn chairs sand drove up in golf carts, but now they had shade to relax in. 

That is, until I started sharing the specifics of the Gospel – how to become a Christian.  At just that key moment … it started to rain.  Not too heavy, but enough that a few folks had to rush to avoid getting wet.  The flurry of activity was certainly unavoidable, but it was just enough of a distraction to make me think that Satan does everything he can to keep the gospel from being understood. 

We are still praying and watching the CDC and the governor’s recommendations about moving services inside.  I think yesterday gave us a good idea of what needs to happen to keep meeting under the retreat center building though.  There has been a lot of talk about doing an outside service at least once a month anyway, even after the Corona crisis is over.  Hmm …

Colossians 4:2 says, “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

Father, thank you for the success of our venture into the shade yesterday.  Help us to stay open to new things … and new places.  Amen.