April 24 – “The renegade”

I went up to the church yesterday to meet the bug guy.  Those evil roach-esque critters were spotted in the retreat center kitchen on Easter morning.  When I arrived he was already inside.  Not spraying, though.  Voting.  We host an early voting site for the west end of the Island.  Which meant he was not able to spray the worship center.  Oh, well, he said he was happy to come back another time. 

Before I left I texted Chris to ask if I needed to bring home anything that was left over from the Easter festivities.  There was a gallon of milk in the fridge that would go bad if not used, a plastic bag of fruit and eggs and other stuff on the counter, and even some sliced fruit in the fridge as well.  She texted back her answer, and then added, “Bring the extra Nerds candy from your desk.”

Proud of myself for being the wonderful husband that I am, I hurried home to perhaps help in the yard or work on a sermon or something productive like that.  However, when Chris saw that the bag after I emptied the Nerds still contained stuff, she queried, “Why did you bring this home?  I said NOT to bring the bag of stuff.”  And about that time my phone rang.  It was Amber, our scheduler from church.  Seems she had just received a phone call from the election officials.  Apparently a renegade pastor had absconded with … their lunch.  Needless to say, I headed back out to the car right away.

When I arrived and was exiting the car, I heard a horrible blaring, siren-esque sound behind me.  It was coming from a truck in the parking lot.  I whirled around just as the election judge was getting out of the vehicle, fumbling with his keys to get the accidentally activated siren turned off.  When he saw me, I threw my arms into the air and declared, “It was me.  I did it.  I am the lunch cat-burglar, the criminal mastermind of the Nerds-covered fruit theft.  I confess it all.” 

When the judge was able to once again control his laughter, we walked inside arm-in-arm.  I coughed up the evidence of my oopsity, my criminal deed.  The other workers were all very kind, and seemed to understand.  I was not hauled away by the Jamaica Beach police.  I even opened up my office and gave them free access to the leftover Easter candy in there.  We were friends once again, and a crisis was narrowly averted by swift action, keen negotiation strategy, and some tootsie rolls. 

Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Father, please be with the election workers as they guide folks through that process again this year.  Amen.