I went to a Lassie League game
yesterday. For the uninformed as to the
ways of the diamond around Galveston, that is girls’ softball. In this particular game the girls were maybe
five or six years old. I couldn’t
tell. But in the way of a baseball
reporter I decided to transcribe the actions of the little girl I went to
watch. What she did was absolutely
typical of just about every other little girl on the field, so it turned out to
a pretty good picture of the entire ball game.
So, here goes …
First you must prepare the dirt around
you. That takes quite a bit of grooming
skill, you see, as well as intensely focused concentration on the task at hand
to the exclusion of all other, less significant items such as minor details
like, oh, say, the softball game going on around you. First you carefully scrape the dirt, first with
your left foot, then your right. I suppose
it would be the other way around if you were left-handed, but I made no direct
observations of southpaws. Once the dirt
is smoothed, the next step is to bend over at the waist, being careful not to
bend at the knees. Completely straight
knees appeared to be essential to the effectiveness of the next operation,
placing your glove flat on the ground in case the ball should roll directly into
it. And once the glove is in position
you must be ever-diligent, watching that receptacle to make sure it doesn’t
somehow escape your clutches. Of course
due diligence means keeping a close watch on the dirt about six inches to either
side of the glove, with an occasional check completely behind you. Can’t have anything sneaking up on you from
that direction. In the grand scheme of
things, about every fifth or sixth pitch thrown, it is also a good idea to
glance forward. Once your position has
been solidified thusly, it is safe to get in a little practice on taking giant
steps for your next game of “Mother, May I.”
Of course it is crucial that any such practice be done with your back to
the batter. You wouldn’t want to give
away any trade secrets.
All of this preparatory work is exhausting,
to be sure, so the occasional yawn is certainly warranted. Even taking a brief respite by easing down on
one knee would appear to be within the scope of the good defender. On occasion you might detect a distant
communication from one of those older guys over near where Mommy and Daddy are sitting,
then standing, then sitting, watching you.
Better wave to them. They
probably need the encouragement. And in
response to that call from the coach to chatter, how about one long,
never-ending “Aaaaaaaaahh, batter, batter, batter,” whatever that means? At some point you realize that you have
wandered from your original spot, because the dirt just doesn’t look
right. The only way to get an accurate
measurement of your proper location is to employ some geometric calculations,
and that of course requires drawing some lines in the dirt. Fortunately you are wearing those very cool shoes
your Mom bought for you, the ones with the built-in sticks on the bottom for
digging lines clearly. That accomplished,
you must do the high-level math, and sometimes that takes more than just your
fingers. So it might be necessary to
have a seat in anticipation of taking off your shoes to get access to a few
more digits. While you are down there,
you might as well check for wind direction by picking up some dirt and slowly
releasing it to see in which direction it is carried. Sadly, reaching a final conclusion to the
mathematical puzzle before you proves futile, for everyone with the same color
shirt as yours has disappeared from the field, and you hear your name being
called. Checking first for Mom or Dad,
you then turn your attention to the bench.
Oh, there they are. It must be
time to join them. Walk slowly to the
sidelines. If you are not mistaken, it
must be time for your team to bat, and that means you get to do some of those
chants. Hmm. “Let’s go, Kenzie, let’s go …”
Psalms 36:8-9 says, “They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from
your river of delights. For with you is
the fountain of life; in your light we see light.”
Father, keep those little girls safe as they
learn a great game. Amen.
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