September 2 – “Steroids, Day three”

Okay.  I understand that steroids are very effective medications in dealing with certain things.  The arthritis pain I was having in my elbows and fingers and even my knees is almost completely gone.  The strength seems to be back and the swelling has gone down.  But these side effects are strange.  I can't understand the tradeoff people make who do this stuff for fun.  Well, not fun, I guess.  For gain?  For muscles?  For stamina?  Not so much from this old boy's perspective.   I am right in the middle of the majorly stressful week before school starts.  I am the interim headmaster, which I have never done before.  The work load is overwhelming to say the least, especially when coupled with being a pastor, too.  I guess one "positive" is that since I took the first big dose three days ago, I really haven't felt sleepy at all, especially at bedtime.  I wake up early, too, so I have more time to tackle the countless projects I still have facing me before the kids come back Tuesday.  Three teacher interviews.  Prepare for the first day of school lecture from the headmaster.  Prepare the actual school schedule.  Contact the other two who have agreed to teach as adjunct professors and give them details of their classes.  Just to name a few.  Oh, I forgot to throw in prepare a sermon.  I guess because that is almost done, thanks to my quiet times at camp a few weeks ago.   There is a definite downside, though.  I recognize when I begin to think I can keep going and get it all done and it will be perfect and I'll be on top of the world finished.  And in the back of my befuddled mind I know good and well that's not true.  In fact, if I don't carry around a pencil and write down the stuff that my brain is firing, I know I will lose it completely in a few seconds to whatever is coming next.  Unless something weird happens like this morning.  Chris and I were trying to think of a friend's last name the other night, and neither of us was successful.  This morning I woke up, wide awake at five a.m. and said her name out loud right there.  I wonder if this is anything like having A.D.D.  Concentration for longer than a few minutes is next to impossible.   The muscles in my back and my left calf ache.  The pain associated with my back has stayed the same.  My toes still tingle and are still numb.  Unless they decide to hurt.  Here's one for you ladies out there.  I'm having hot flashes.  I'll suddenly realize that my skin feels like it's on fire.  Not like I have a fever.  Just the skin.  Kind of like a sunburn.  I still can't sleep much at night.  Last night I got up every hour and had to go to the bathroom.  I don't have much of an appetite.  I feel full all the time.  I almost forgot to eat lunch today, but Chris reminded me when she got home from a Wednesday Club ladies lunch and gave me her leftover pasta salad.   I also have indigestion.  Oh, and last night was the first time in years that I had the hiccups.  Yep.  Hiccups.  And they wouldn't go away.  I still had them at midnight.  I guess when I finally dozed off they faded away into oblivion.  Oh, and one last thing.  My fingers can't keep up with my brain firings, so it is driving me crazy to type.  I want to go as fast as I'm thinking, and it will never happen.  Take typing.   Chris is in Bay City tonight.  Her Mom has another appointment in the morning in Houston.  Mom and I went to youth group tonight.  She asked if any adults ever came.  I listed off all the ones there who were adults (youth pastor, youth worker, intern, me, usually Chris, and oh, yeah, her).  She said, "You know what I mean."  I guess I did.  Just escaped me there for a minute.  Still escapes me.  Ask me when my long term memories kick in.   Exodus 33:14 says, "My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest."   Father, I can tell you are with me.  I confess that I am not optimistic about rest.  Amen.