September 15 – “Coffin”

Today was one of those days when I really had a need to go outside and do something that would cause me to sweat and would result in some kind of positive something.  I think it's one of those feelings that results naturally after being forced to spend twenty minutes or so inside a coffin.  At least that's what it seemed like.  I had to undergo another MRI today on my lower back.  There's nothing quite like the feeling of being trapped inside a coffin and hearing, well, that's another thing.  They are supposed to give you ear plugs or headphones or something to help drown out the noise.  I got the ear plugs this time, but they didn't drown out much.  It sounds like you are under a moving train for about four minutes, then it's deadly silent for a few before the next train arrives just behind your ear.  I think I kept dozing off in spite of all the noise.  I remember hallucinating about some crazy stuff, so I must have been dreaming.  It didn't help any that I had just come from the lab where they drew no less than seven vials of blood for every test known to man.    The point of the MRI is to verify that my back trouble is worse.  Several of the symptoms I'm having point to that – the sore, numb big toes top that list, followed, not surprisingly, by back pain.  The blood tests are for the whole new issue.  They are supposed to tell if I'm having some kind of auto immune difficulty.  Rheumatoid arthritis is at the top of that list, followed by some disease named after some Swedish guy.  Both of them are aggravated by stress.  Hmm.  Wonder if I have started anything in my life lately that would have increased my stress level.  School?  Nah, surely not.  Anyway, those symptoms also involve pain along with stiffness and aching and swelling in my joints.  The last few days my elbows were the worst spots.  Today we had a new winner.  My right wrist started hurting last night when I finally went to bed.  I couldn't find any position to hold my pencil that didn't hurt, so I got frustrated and quit my crossword puzzle.  Today it had a little knot that rose up right where the pain was.  The swelling and soreness in my fingers ran a close second.    We're supposed to hear from the neurologist later in the week.  Chris is even more sure that he'll want me to see a rheumatologist now.  I don't care any more.  We have met our deductible.  Well, Discover Card has met our deductible.   Well, back to the original thought.  I did work in the yard this afternoon.  We didn't get home in time for me to go back to the school.  Two of the school board members were there anyway.  I'll deal with all the major crises tomorrow.  But today I cleared the yard next door with the weedeater and then crawled around in our back yard pulling up weeds.  I asked Chris is doing stuff like that would make either of my "issues" worse.  She said it wouldn't.  I took that to mean it would still hurt when I got done but at least I can give it a try.  I keep thinking of the friend of ours – younger than us – who developed rheumatoid arthritis.  He went from a very active lifestyle – softball, basketball - to a guy who gets around OK on two celebrex a day.   Proverbs 13:12 says, "12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."   Father, forgive me for returning to my rants again.  But I need you.  Amen.