January 14 – “On Old Guys and New Words”

I get that Old Guy Newsletter from AARP.  In fact I signed up to be in that group as soon as I was eligible (when I turned 50).  I figured there was bound to be some kind of benefits, like discounts at Astroworld (whoops, they closed Astroworld), cheaper hotel rooms (that happened, but we have only taken one vacation in the last ten years), and maybe some coupons for restaurants or something (no coupons, but most of the time you have to come out and ask if they offer discounts.  I'm finding that gets easier and easier the older I get.  It seems like people expect way different things from old guys.  It's not really respect, I don't think.  That may be the roots of it, since years ago people did respect older people way more than they do now.  It's more like sighing and putting up with a two-year-old because he is acting like a two-year-old.  I have found that people are more likely to chuckle and respond favorably to the "nice old guy" as opposed to the demanding, highly motivated "senior executive."  Besides, it's a lot more fun being the nice old guy.  You can do pretty much whatever you want and people write it off to the rigors of aging.  Is that what t means to wield influence over the young?   My AARP newsletter had an interesting article in it.  It was about the new words that get added to the dictionary every year.  Of the fifty words they selected to define for us oldies so we wouldn't feel so out of place in our society, I had actually heard of thirteen of them.  Here's their introductory statement to the article: "Whether chillaxing with a gal pal or out on a bromantic date, you'll automagically impress your friends when you rock these beauties."  They may be in the dictionary, but they are sure not in my computer's spell check or grammar check yet.  There are little red lines all over this page as I type it.   Here's a few of them: Frenemy – noun – friend with whom one has frequent conflict Staycation – noun – vacation spent at home Viral – adjective – circulating rapidly on the internet Vuvuzela – noun – long horn blown by fans at soccer matches Heart – verb – to like very much, love (written as a picture of a heart) Bromance – noun – close platonic male friendship Own – verb – to utterly defeat or humiliate   Numbers 14:18 says, "The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion."   Father, please heal the frenemy rifts that have gone viral in our world.  Forgive our attempts to own each other.  Help us to go beyond bromances and learn to really heart each other.  Amen.

January 13 – “Baseball candy”

I got some feedback on the warped board.  (Thanks, Dave).  It seems I'm supposed to get the board all wet first, then try to straighten it out with the heavy box or whatever.  But Chris doesn't want to get the board all wet.  And it's cold outside anyway.  Guess I'll just wait a few days and see what happens.   We went to Sam's and looked at computers.  Well, we went to get some supplies for the church since Sunday is dinner on the grounds day.  The computers just happened to be placed directly on the aisle we had to walk down to get to the toilet paper and dishwashing liquid.  A guy who works there did his duty and asked if he could be of any help.  We told him we were looking at the laptops, and he got very excited.  Seems that some of them are going on sale this weekend, but only to business members.  That would include us, since our card is issued through the church.  He gave us a model number to watch for in the impending mailout that we should receive in the next few days.  "It's being sent out as we speak."  Yep.  He really said that.  He wrote the model number on what I thought was a piece of scrap paper and handed it to me.  It was an alcohol prep pad.  That'll keep us safe from germs when we read the mailout, I guess.   Jachin and Micah signed up for baseball yesterday.  Machine pitch and t-ball respectively.  And that means … drumroll here … it's time once again for selling candy.  They didn't even go home first.  Jachin got in the car and said, "We have to go to Nana and DadDad's house.  They'll buy some."  Of course we'll buy some.  They opened up their little case and showed the options.  $2 a piece for candy bars (one was a Nestle's Crunch Bar knock-off) or little boxes of candy tidbits of different kinds.  Chris sidled up to me just as I was reaching for my wallet and asked for ten bucks.  "Ah, so that's how it's gonna be," I thought.  I gave her the money and slipped out ten of my own.  I made my selections.  One crunch bar and four boxes of Mint Meltaways, frosty mint centers layered in rich milk chocolate.  Chris took a little more time.  She asked each boy what his personal favorite was of all the choices.  Jachin picked the meltaways.  Of course, it was the only kind in the bunch that didn't have some kind of connection to nuts.  Micah pointed to the chocolate covered almonds.  That made his Dad chuckle, because Micah doesn't really like chocolate.  But Micah reminded him that he had recently tried some chocolate ice cream and decided that it wasn't all that bad.  Well, being the great Nana that she is, Chris chose one of each of their favorites along with some Caramel Whirls, caramel covered in rich milk chocolate.  And of course, she promptly handed over a box of almonds to Micah and some Mint Meltaways to Jachin, along with the required admonition to "wait until after supper."  We ended up with ten boxes.  And that doesn't include the five boxes Mom bought when she found out there was chocolate in the house.  Not a bad haul for their first stop.   Ain't grandparenting grand?   Philippians 2:14-16 says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life — in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."   Father, Jachin and Micah knew they could count on us.  All they had to do was ask.  Help me to be a kid of yours like that.  Amen.

January 12 – “Getting un-warped”

Well, it's cold outside.  I don't mean "Galveston cold."  That would be somewhere in the fifties.  But I don't mean frozen wastelands cold either.  That would be below zero.  But for Gilligan's Island, it's cold today.  When I got WeatherBug up on the computer it was 30 degrees.  That's pipe-wrapping, foot-stomping, winter-coat-wearing cold.  If it's gonna be this cold it should go ahead and snow to give the kids – well, us kids – something fun to do outside.    I have to check on our warped board today.  It's the last piece in the new shelving puzzle we started on last week.  The shelves themselves are already up and running – cut, painted, hung, and loaded down.  The warped board is a finishing touch Chris envisioned as a sideboard to the whole thing.  It would look good, too, if wasn't so warped.  We tried several approaches to straightening it.  First we just put it on the floor in the garage and left it overnight.  That didn't do any good at all.  The next attempt was to add a heavy box on top so it would be forced to lie flat.  That didn't really work either.  Then I had a brainstorm.  I put some small pieces of wood under each end, and then put the heavy box in the middle so it would be forced to sit the opposite way for awhile.  Now that actually worked a little bit.  There was still some warping at one end, though, so I moved both the blocks to one end and replaced the box.  I'm anxious to see if that worked.  I guess it will never be perfectly straight, but it will hopefully be close enough that we can use it to fulfill the purpose Chris has envisioned.   It's amazing to think about how much trouble we're going to just to straighten out one piece of wood.  It would be so much easier to just go buy another piece.  Hmm.  Kind of humbles me, too.  Reminds me of how much trouble God goes to to get us goofy kids of His straightened out enough so we can be of use to accomplish his purposes.  Glad he doesn't just toss us and go create another piece.  That's gotta be evidence of his love.   Philippians 2:13 says, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."   Father, thanks for not giving up on me.  And thanks for the "straightening process" even when it hurts.  Amen.

January 11 – “Unbalanced”

I had another of those in credibly frustrating experiences yesterday, and it spilled over into today.  It was time again to balance the checkbook.  It should be an easy task, even when I leave something out or discover an error in addition or subtraction (although those have been fewer and fewer since I decided never to trust my own mathematical genius and to let the calculator do what it was designed to do).  I don't have all our finances entered into the computer.  I know that's supposed to be the way to go nowadays, but I still like the satisfaction of having it all add up.     My personal system also keeps track of our credit card purchases.  Whenever we use the card, I delete that amount from the account just as if we wrote a check.  Then we can pay off the entire balance at the end of each month.  It provides us with a pretty accurate paper trail of our purchases, and it doesn't make me feel like we are using money we don't have.  I like being out of debt, and I want to keep it that way, even on paper.  It makes for an interesting look in our checkbook, but I think the system is pretty basic credit and debit accounting stuff.  I'm sure it's a piece of cake for somebody who likes math.  That person doesn't live at our house, though, so I get to do it.   Now for the last several months it has been cooperating nicely.  But not so much this time.  I was off somewhere, and I couldn't find it.  That meant I had to search not only the bank statement, but also the credit card statement.  I did discover one charge I forgot to post, so I took care of that.  But that correction only intensified the error.  I clustered and crunched the numbers in every way I could think of.  Every time my numbers came up the same.  And every time my numbers didn't match the bank's.  By the exact same amount - $50.04.  This morning Chris even joined in the fray.  She called out numbers and I added and subtracted on the calculator.  Every time my numbers came up the same.  And every time my numbers didn't match the bank's.  By the exact same amount - $50.04.  Oh, I didn't mention that the discrepancy was in our favor.  They were saying we had that much more than I can account for.     I finally gave up.  I created a new entry line in the checkbook – "Mystery Amount."  Oh, I'll wait until next month's statement and see if I can find the error with more information.  But in the meantime, with that extra post, we are balanced.   James 2:14-18 says, "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?  Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, 'You have faith; I have deeds.'  Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do."   Father, help me maintain a balance with faith and deeds.  Amen.

January 10 – “Undecking the halls”

Last night we attacked that dreaded yet necessary part of the holiday season – putting it all away.  We did that here at home already.  Last night it was time to do it at church.  I announced the grand event at Sunday morning worship, but honestly I didn't really expect many to come.  That's not a bad thing, though.  Sometimes it's easier to get things done quicker if there are fewer people there.  The problem was, I didn't know what to call it.    When we put the decorations up we made a big deal out of it.  We invited people to bring Christmassy snacks and join together in a "Hanging of the Greens," a reference to the garland we inevitably hang near the ceiling of the worship area.  There is always a fairly small, and usually quite fun group.  But what do you call it when all you're doing is tearing stuff down, putting it away, and vacuuming the floor?  I was struggling through that quandary while trying to announce it, when one of our kids piped up on the back row, "How about calling it "Undecking the Halls"?  I like it.   I inherited the responsibility for getting the garland and the icicle lights down from the ceiling.  How hard could it be?  All I had to do was grab one end and walk around the room pulling, right?  That worked on the part where we rigged up bent paper clips to hold the wires up.  But I still had to crawl up on a stool to pull the paper clips out.  And I totally forgot about the special made clips that Ned found back when we were putting the lights and garland up.  They weren't going anywhere, so I had to get right up there next to them to unhook things.  I did use a ladder for some of the places, but it was a lot easier to just stand on my stool.  Glad Chris wasn't in there.   Speaking of Chris, she took charge of the Christmas tree in the foyer.  One of the ladies from the Experiencing God study stuck around to help her.  As did the girl who named the whole event.  McKenna has been at the Hanging of the Greens every year, so I was glad to see her last night.  And she brought along some chocolate covered pretzels that she and her Mom made.  Always a plus.  And McKenna was a lot of fun.  She helped Chris undecorated the tree, and then came in where I was and entertained me.  She modeled her new look called "Draped in Tinsel."  I'm sure it's all the rage.  I was inspired, so at the first opportune moment when she wasn't looking I draped her in garland as well.   When we finished with the lights and garland, I noticed that there was still a nativity scene set out.  Chris said it was like a jigsaw puzzle trying to figure out where each piece fit into the Styrofoam, so she had given up.  I asked McKenna to see if she could put it away, and I moved over to gather up the lights off the floor – not so far away, though, that I couldn't hear the running conversation McKenna was having with the figures.  "Mary you have to fit right in here somehow.  Cow, this is your spot.  Baby you have to go here."  She got several in right away, but the others were proving to be a bit of a challenge.  Finally, I heard her frustration seep out when she disgustedly spoke to one of the three kings, "If you're so wise, why don't you figure out where you belong?"   Psalms 3:3-4 says, "But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.  To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill."   Father, thank you for the answers you give that come as often from the mouths of children as from sages.  Amen.

January 9 – “Shelving up”

Yesterday Chris and I entered the world of our past and did something together that we haven't done in years.  We embarked on another journey into the realm of home improvement.  She has wanted for some time now to build some shelves in our storage room next to the actual laundry room.  It's where our freezer and an extra refrigerator and a lot of toys and games live.  One set of shelves in there is one we salvaged from one of the houses after Hurricane Ike.  It is a white steel garage shelf units.  It works fine. It's just not tall enough.  Chris wants one tall enough that the storage capacity can reach clear to the ceiling.    After measure the area from every perspective we could think of, we headed to Home Depot.  Chris had an image in her mind of exactly what she wanted, always a scary time in my life.  Mainly because if we can't find something that exactly matches that picture, then she has trouble releasing the image from  her mind so she can wrap it around something different.  Always makes for an interesting dilemma.   Our first decision was whether to get a box with a pre-fabricated shelf unit in it made from particle board or to collect the myriad of hardware and screws necessary to build one with wood.  The pre-fab stuff is really easy, but you have to settle for their dimensions.  So wood won.  Always my personal choice, even if she was going to paint it.  We decided to put up those metal strips and hook on the shelf holders.  Then she wanted to put up a side panel to hide whatever was on the shelf.  It was all in that picture inside her head.  We roamed the aisles for awhile, looking for just the right cut strips to match that vision, but nothing worked.  We needed a 14 inch depth and the widest they had was 12 inches.  So, off to the sheets of plywood.  We found some very nice cabinet wood sheets.  Which led to the next big decision – whether to let the guy there play with his power tool and cut it for us, or take it home and do it ourselves.  He won that battle.  We decided to save some time (and effort) and let the guy there cut it for us.  A sign said that after the first two cuts, each cut was $2.50, but our guy didn't charge us anything.  Worked out great for us.  The hardware stuff was pretty easy to locate, though I have to admit to asking for help.  I also got a stud finder to replace the one I lost two years ago.  Haven't needed one since then.    The first thing I discovered when we got home was that there was no battery included with the stud finder, so I made a quick trip to WalMart.  One problem solved.  And then came the question of the ages … where's the stud?   I followed directions to the letter.  "Slowly run the finder across the sheetrock.  When it detects a difference in density a light will come on.  Mark that spot.  Continue moving until the light goes out.  Mark that spot.  You have just indicated the location of the two edges of the stud."  Sounded easy.  And sure enough, the light came on and went off.  But the locations were totally random.  Either there were studs everywhere in there or something was a little off.  I watched and marked and finally gave up.  I decided to just guess and use the sheetrock anchors if I needed to.  I went the old fashioned way that we used to do it when we first got married.  I got a hammer and skinny nail.  I marked the places we needed a screw in the wall, then punched the nail in.  And to my amazement, every single marked spot had a stud, so I could just use wood screws to hold it up.    Meanwhile Chris was getting a jump on the painting.  She wanted the shelves to match the baseboard trim.  That just meant white paint, and we had some left over from the house "remodel."  The brackets went into place and I held up the long board that was to serve as the side wall.  It was so warped that I couldn't get it to stay even remotely in place.  Wish we had realized that when we bought it.  I went online to see if there was any way to fix a warped board.  It seemed hopeless at first, but finally there was one site that said with the right combination of moisture and weight on top, the board had a good chance of straightening up.  Sounded like a kid.  I laid it on the garage floor and put a big box full of stuff on it.  We'll see how it looks when we go back out there.  I hope cold weather has something to do with it.  We had a cold front come through today.  It's supposed to get in the 30's.   We finished a first coat on all the shelves, and even a second coat on one side of each one.  We'll wait until tomorrow to see how the warped one looks before we paint it.  Then it's a matter of shelving up.   Psalms 1:6 says, "For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."   Father, thank you for watching me even when I don't act so righteous.  Amen.

January 8 – “Bowl games”

I watched a few minutes of the Cotton Bowl last night.  It was the first bowl game I have seen any of this season.  At least I think they still call it the Cotton Bowl.  I wasn't paying enough attention during the breaks to see who the superstar sponsor is now.  And it was obvious the commercials weren't living up to the quality I have come to expect from the other football game I usually see parts of every year.  That's the one that they play in February.  It has commercials so good that we have a party and invite people over just to watch them.    Anyway, back to the names.  It just seems to me that some of the prestige is taken out of the whole experience when the name of the game is, well, silly.  I remember growing up and hearing about the Rose Bowl and the Cotton Bowl and the Orange Bowl and the Bluebonnet Bowl.  I remember the Fiesta Bowl beginning and thinking at first that it was a creative name.  But isn't it named after those fritos rivals?  And can't you just picture an old grandpa-type guy, holding his young grandson on his aged, banged up knee, and saying, "Yep, my boy.  I hurt my knee while sacking the quarterback on the last play of the game to save a victory"?  And the little one, in awe, asks, "Wow, GrandDad, what big game was that?"  And mustering up all the pride he can, the old dude responds, "Why, the Go Daddy Bowl, of course."  And the little man's reply?  A muffled snicker and, "Wow.  Say it again, GrandDad, please?"  Sure makes a good case for a playoff system in college football.   Obadiah 15 says, "The day of the Lord is near for all nations.  As you have done, it will be done to you; your deeds will return upon your own head."   Father, could you give Galveston a little more time to return to you?  Amen.