April 19 – “A window into grief”

I had to drive to Houston by myself yesterday.  The interment part of the funeral I was officiating was at a cemetery in Houston west of the outer loop.  Chris was going to go and drive as she usually does, and Nathan was going to get Mom to water therapy.  But Nathan got sick.  Not a very common occurrence.  So Chris stuck around to make the Mom deliveries.   Ever wonder just what happens around a cemetery?  I mean the background stuff that we all know takes place, but very few of us ever get to see.  Without betraying any confidences, here are a few notes on my observations, a brief window into grief.   The cemetery was one of the best kept and best run I have ever been in.  One of the family members told me it had been there for years.  He remembered when it was the only thing out there amid fields and forests.  The grounds were immaculate.  The staff was very helpful.  Even when the family decided they wanted to stay until the casket was lowered into the ground.  I have seen a family do that before.  It is not all that common, but it does happen.  Not everybody stuck around.  Some left the premises.  Others just meandered off to where they couldn't actually see what was happening.  Pastor protocol dictated that I stay close by until the closest family was prepared to leave.    When the grounds crew arrived, they quickly removed the grass-like tarps and rolled away the awning.  They slowly lowered the casket into the waiting concrete tomb, and then removed the lowering apparatus.  A bulldozer brought in the concrete cap.  It must have weighed a ton.  It took awhile to get the cap set just right, but with a tool created just for that purpose, the crewman got the job done quickly and efficiently.  Finally a tractor backed the container full of dirt up to the grave.  At that point the family asked that they wait a few minutes.  Each one who wanted to then took a small portion of dirt and dropped it onto the casket.  There was nervous chatter here and there, along with a few jabs among the older cousins like, "here's your chance to throw dirt on grandma."  And "It'd wouldn't be the first time."  And finally, "Yeah, but it's the first time you'll get away with it."  All in all it was a healthy approach to closure and acceptance of death.    Micah 7:18-19 says, "Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance?  You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.  You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea."   Father, once again I pray for a grieving family.  Walk with them one day at a time.  Amen.