November 3 – “The House File”

Today we made the rounds of home improvement stores – Lowe's, Home Depot, Sears – to get some specs on some key items for the house.  Mom even went with us.  She was eager to get out of the house and get back into the swing of pre-Ike constant motion around the Vaughan house.  I didn't think this would be difficult.  Hang out while Chris finds the fridge she likes.  Nod and say "OK" when she asks if I like it.  You know, a typical husband-with-his-wife shopping trip.  I did pretty well for awhile, too.  Nathan called, so I talked to him while she did the early browsing portion.  And when she asked what I thought of her selection, I really did like it, so that one was easy.  We moved on to stoves and Ben Franklin fireplaces and double ovens and washers and driers and dishwashers … and I knew I was in trouble.  Chris had already been on line looking at this stuff, and she had some idea what she wanted.  Not fair.  That makes it almost impossible to try to read her mind.  That means I had to actually pay attention and come to some decision about what I liked.  And that means I had to think – always a dangerous activity for me.                                                            And think I did.  I ran the gamut – again – from feeling powerless at not being able to provide a home for these two great ladies who were my immediate family unit and my responsibility, to wondering where we stood on the insurance company's long list of claim checks to write, to worrying about whether the government would come back later and make us build up on stilts after we already rebuilt where we were, to - "Yes, I really like that one" – to what else are we going to have to buy?   Honestly, that's where I got stuck today.  My head started swimming with all the things we still had to get.  My male instinct kicked in, and I started making a mental list.  And the mental list grew until I had to start writing it down.  Refrigerator, double oven, cooktop, dishwasher, microwave, icemaker, freezer, washer, dryer, Ben Franklin fireplace repair, wood floors, tile floors, two toilets, shower, refinish a tub, ceiling fans, light fixtures, air conditioner, heater, hot water heater – "I thought you liked the black one" –   Garbage disposal, hearing impaired telephones, surge protector, television, one, two, three bedside lamps, clock radio, four dressers, three double beds, mattresses and box springs, desk, bookshelves, books – (OK, I did spend a few minutes here, daydreaming) – sewing machine, vacuum cleaner, office chair, two file cabinets, couch that makes into a bed, recliner, some more chairs here and there, dining room table, a bunch of chairs to sit on while we eat – "Did we make any lunch arrangements with Christi?  How about Whataburger?"   An entertainment center, CD player for home group, lawn mower, sheets, towels, attic stairs, light for the attic, toaster, coffee pot, electric can opener, pots and pans, crock pot, internet service after December, a new car – (this one held me up awhile, too.  We sure like not having a car payment.  And after the flood I bet there will be a lot of "available" used cars around Galveston.  Don't want one of them!) – a circular saw, sawzall, drill, chain saw, skill saw (see a pattern developing here?).  "Hey, want to drive by where we used to live and see the old house?"   I can't count the number of times we have been asked, "What do you need?"  I realized today that the reason I couldn't answer is because I had no context for placing needs – no place to put anything in my head.  The "house" file had been deleted.  For the first time I think I got a glimpse of what Philippians 3:7-8 might really mean: "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things."   Father, thanks you for showing me again that I don't even need a "house" file.  My house is with you.  All I really need is you.  Amen.