October 5 – “Siri's Short Cut”

We wanted to go on some backroads that would take us through a slice of Oklahoma just so we could say we were there, but apparently Chris’ favorite friend Google Siri felt rather strongly that we needed to be on an Interstate for a while.  Hey, what can you say?

And speaking of interstates, I30 just happened to be under construction right where we needed to get through – just after we re-entered Texas.  Siri assured us it would only add five minutes’ drive time.  Wait.  She changed it to six.  No, five …

We did make it through the construction delay and headed ever further west.  The town we intended to eat supper in didn’t have anything appetizing on their signs, so we kept going.  An hour and a half later we finally made a desperation stop (read here, “bathroom”) at a McDonald’s.  But the lobby was closed for renovations.  So we went next door to Burger King.  Haven’t been to one of them in years.  Chris’ chicken was burnt.  My jr. bacon burger was passable.  I haven’t missed Burger King. 

Further on down the road we got another message from Siri.  Seemed Dallas was a mass of wrecks, and we needed to take a special shortcut she had prepared just for us.  It was indeed special.  We decided to get gas at a small town before we headed further into the wilderness.  We chose the station where a volunteer fire crew was filling up the tank on their ladder truck.  I shook the driver’s hand and introduced myself.  After that we were never sure where we were because it was so dark.  We passed a dam.  Must have been a big lake.  We were accosted by swarms of bugs with a death wish.  They pelted our windshield to such an extent that we had to stop in nowhere-town to wash it all off.  Finally, we happened upon the high school homecoming bonfire at a place called Willis Point.  Everybody in town was there.  Huge fire.  Exciting stuff.  Hope they do well in the football game.

We finally came to I20, which we sort of recognized.  At least the names of the major streets and towns were familiar.  We made our way under Siri’s direction all the way to … Waco.  Seven plus hours driving time.  A new record.

Psalms 103:22 says, “Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion.  Praise the Lord, O my soul.”

Father, thank you for keeping us safe through those back roads and dark twists and turns.  And be with those high school kiddos.  Amen.

October 4 – “I have been exfoliated”

The Russellville hotel gets the nod as the best of all of our accommodations.  In fact it absolutely shattered all other opponents.  How?  Simple.  They served bacon at the free breakfast.  Hard to top bacon.

Well, we couldn’t stand it (Read here, I couldn’t stand it).  We were back in Arkansas.  There was just one thing left undone in this crazy state (If you don’t count finding a diamond), and to get it done we had to make a return trip to … Hot Springs.  We never got our foot and neck massage at the same bathhouse Babe Ruth went to.  It was only an hour and a half from Russellville, too.  How could we not …

We checked in and got our appointment time.  Three hours to kill.  Fortunately in was around lunchtime, so we had some food over at Granny’s Kitchen.  Best chicken fried steak I have had in years.  It was actually thicker than a piece of construction paper, and the meat filled in the whole breaded covering.  Nice.  Oh, and Granny had one of those big, four foot tall metal chickens.  I really wanted a picture, but Chris thought the couple sitting in front of the chicken might get offended.  I offered to include them in the shot, but she still said no. 

After lunch we bought a souvenir or two and headed to the parking garage to deposit them.  A random guy walked up to me while we were there.  He said he saw my fire department shirt and thought he could ask me for directions.  Funny thing was, I actually knew the answer.  Score one for the FD’s of the world.

We spent our final minutes of waiting time in rocking chairs on the porch of the visitors’ center (one of the old bathhouse buildings).  It was there that the “Official Presidential Big Brother Text Message” arrived.  Loudly.  Phones exploded with the emergency honking sound.  People all around us stopped what they were doing and checked their phone.  “Presidential Alert: THIS IS S TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System.  No action is needed.”  So … no action needed.  Only a test.  With that information in hand, I rightfully and dutifully (and rather loudly) announced to the world around us, “No need to worry, ladies and gentlemen.  It was only a test.  Everything is fine.  Please go on about your business, resting assured that all is well.”  at least seven or eight others immediately responded with comments of their own.  Some received the message.  Others are apparently on a “Do not contact in case of emergency, let them flounder through it on their own” list (That would include Chris.  She didn’t get it).  My favorite response was from the old guy who proudly held up his flip phone and announced, “I didn’t get it.”  One of the Park Rangers then came outside and gently and quietly asked of anyone had received the text message.  She just wanted to assure us that it was only a test, and we had nothing to worry about.  Holding back my inner compulsion to explode with laughter when I made eye contact with the couple who had been sitting in the chairs behind us, I assured Ranger Rita that we had “everything under control out here.” 

So then it was on to the spa room for our foot/neck/head massage (weird combination, huh?).  The very nice receptionist pointed us to some steps and said, “People call that the stairway to heaven.”  I glanced at the stairs and quickly back at her.  “But,” I whispered in reply, “they lead … down.”  And down those eerie stairs we went, into a hot basement room.  How hot was it?  At risk of carrying the allusion too far, let me just say this.  The floors were heated.  That’s right heat emanating from beneath your very feet.  Now, I ask you, what image does that evoke? 

After being offered some ‘special spring water” (Yeah.  Sounds suspicious to you, too, doesn’t it?), and filling out some paperwork, we were led into a small locker room and issued sandals and a robe.  We were assured that everything was quite private “down here,” and we could take off or leave on whatever we wanted.  However, “you must leave all your jewelry and especially your cell phones in this locker.”  Sounded like a heist to me.  Or worse, they were removing all hope of contact with the “Upper Realms.”  Oh, sure, we were taught how to operate the locker combination, but would we ever be able to find our way back to this room?

Finally the actual massage people came and led us to a “treatment room” where we were instructed to remove our robe and “get comfortable” on the table.  It bothered my back some to have to lie flat, but with some slow, concentrated breathing, I managed.  So, feet first.  We heard, “If these are too hot, let us know.”  And instantly, hot wet towels encased us from toes to ankles.  Then the towels were removed and lotion applied.  Then the lotion was removed by vigorous scrubbing.  I have been exfoliated.  And before this date, I didn’t even know what that word meant (Still not sure).  But she didn’t stop there.  She actually did a pretty decent foot massage (not that I have anything to compare it with.  This was my first).  Chris’ massager (she was in training) followed pretty much the same procedure, except she forgot to do Chris’ right foot.  She is only half exfoliated. Not sure why, but I guess it meant she got a little longer neck attention.  And that neck part was interesting.  Several times she began at my neck in the front and slid around to a spot in the center of the back of my head.  Then she turned my head to each side and massaged the exposed neck there.  She did one of those tricks where you tap your head, then slowly slide your fingers down the sides of your head.  Feels like cracking a raw egg open and having the insides slide down.  Oh, and another time she was rubbing both sides of my head.  Felt really nice.  As did the ear massage.  Then, suddenly, with no change in the pressure on the sides, I felt pressure right in the center of my head as well.  So much for relaxing.  By that time I was convinced that the lady had a third arm that she only revealed at moments like this.  Perhaps that’s why she was confined to the depths of this cave.  Maybe that explains the temperature.  Creatures like her can’t survive at normal temps.  A little disconcerted now, I concentrated on my breathing techniques.  Slow and easy, long breaths.  That’s when I felt more that saw that he hands were hovering mere inches in front of my face.  She wasn’t moving them.  Ah, then I got the message.  She had dunked them in some kind of stinky substance that I was supposed to inhale.  That’s it.  She was waiting for the inhale.  I held out as long as I could, but finally had to oblige.  It did smell.  Not too bad, though.  And then it was over.  All done, just like that.

We were both a little shaky on our feet when they got done, but we redeemed our valuables and our contact with the outside world.  We made it to the car and pointed it in the general direction of … well, West.

Psalms 103:21 says, “Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will.”

Father, thank you for the whole foot massage experience.  Strange, but actually rather pleasant.  Be with those massage ladies as they go about their day.  Oh, and maybe give them some time on the surface … Amen.

October 3 – “Into a foreign land”

So … Paris, Tennessee.  When we checked into the hotel, imagine my surprise when the desk clerk commented favorably on my Astros shirt.  He was from Clear Lake.  Then another customer came in.  It was a young girl wearing a Jose Altuve jersey.  I shook her hand.  Three Astros fans in a foreign land.  Gotta stick together.

We finally heard those dreaded banjo tunes.  Oddly enough it happened when … we took a shower.  Every time we turned it on the plumbing sounded exactly like a banjo strumming.  It was … frightening.

Oh, and one other thing happened in Paris that we haven’t seen since we left home.  It rained.  A lot.  For about twenty minutes.  The rain didn’t bode well for the folks we shared breakfast with.  Two college golf teams (University of Tennessee at Martin and Murray State) were in town for a tournament.  Good lunch, fellas.

We went back by the baby Eiffel tower that we took selfies at the night before.  We wanted another to go with the night views.  A kindly Parisian gentleman taking a stroll in the park took our picture for us.    We were especially excited that he spoke English so well.  Not a trace of a French accent.  He said he wouldn’t do this for just anybody.  We are so special.

And finally we hit the road.  We decided to pick up the one National Park in northern Arkansas that we missed last week, Buffalo River.  But to get there, it’s all back roads, all day.  Six and a half hours of drive time.  How “back roads”?  Well, Chris started keeping track of road kill. 

It took a while but I was excited when we made it to Missouri again.  Well, we made it into that little comma-looking bottom eastern corner.  We went through Hayti.  I think that’s how they spell it when it isn’t an island near Cuba.  We saw acres and acres of white – cotton fields. 

In Imboden we saw a sign – “You can fool the pastor but you can’t fool the Master.”  Yep.

In Ravenden we saw a giant, big as a house statue of … a raven.  Amazing.

We went through Bobo.  Just one street there – Bobo Avenue.

My two favorite town names of the day, though were Flippin and Yellville. 

When we got to Harrison, a ranger showed us where to go to actually see the river.  Then he suggested we eat in Jasper, and find a place to stay the night in Russellville.  We even saw that Dogpatch was on that route.  Finding the river was easy enough.  We even hiked down and I put my finger in.  Kind of a watery tradition of mine.  But we never saw Dogpatch.  In fact we never saw Jasper.  Fortunately, though, we connected with Randy and Janet Richardson, some friends we knew in Denver, who now live in a place called Pelsor, which was not on the map.  Instead the map called it Sand Gap.  But after we turned on the road toward their house we ended up in a place called Ben Hur.  Blacktop road to dirt road to rock driveway.  We heard those banjos again.

Leaving, we narrowly missed hitting three deer who chose that moment to leap across the road.  We also saw two others.  Not much speeding happens on that road.  Self defense.

We were happy to see an interstate, because that meant Russellville and a hotel for the night.  We checked in, went to McAllister’s Deli for a bite to eat, and settled in to watch the wild card game.  Looks like a return trip to Hot Springs tomorrow.

Psalms 103:20 says, “Praise the Lord, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.”

Father, thank you for the chance to see Randy and Janet.  Please encourage them and give them strength as they prepare to move.  Amen.

October 2 – “Rocks, Santa, Eagle and Eiffel”

Ah, the places we have seen and the places we have been.  Just yesterday we passed through Holland (That’s in Europe, right?) and Greenville (That would be South Carolina, I thought) and Sacramento (California, I’m sure).  Except that the last two were at the same exit and all of them were somewhere in Indiana.  Weird.

I forgot over the course of this journal to include a very important reference.  That would be … Ian.  Ian showed up in at least three of the first parks that we went to.  Chris found out at one point that he was from Ohio.  I thought he said Iowa, so that’s what I called him the next few times he showed up.  I finally just asked him his name since we were spending so much time together.  Ian.  I’ll miss Ian. 

We made our way a little further east, of all directions.  Chris found a National Park site about 45 minutes from where we were, so off we went.  It was Abe Lincoln’s boyhood home.  We got our book stamped and then decided to take the hike back into the woods and see where his Mom was buried.  The featured attraction of this hike?  Rocks.  But not just any rocks.  Oh, no.  These rocks all had special Abe Lincoln meanings.  They dotted the landscape of the trail route.  Get a load of these “special” rocks:

1. A rock from where he was born in Kentucky.

2. A rock from the store where he used to shop.

3. A rock from Vincennes where he first saw a printing press.

4. A rock from the Berry-Lincoln store in Illinois.

5. Bricks from Mary Todd’s home in Kentucky.

6. A monument that used to mark the site of his parents’ cabin, but they moved it.

7. A rock from the White House of 1861.

8. A rock from an old soldiers’ home where he wrote the Emancipation Proclamation.

9. A rock from where he stood to deliver the Gettysburg Address.

10. A rock from the old capitol building where he gave his 2^nd inaugural address.

11. A pillar from the porch of the house where he died.

12. A really big rock from his tomb in Springfield.

I think there was another one, too, but I must have missed it.  Never fear, though.  At the end of the hike I was so inspired that I set up a rock of my own.  Mosquito Rock.  In honor of the early predecessors of the hundreds of mosquitoes that currently stand guard over the Rock Trail today.  Mosquito Rock is quite small, though, so you might miss it.

Right after Abe’s farm, we realized we were mere moments away from Santa Claus, Indiana.  How could we not go there?  We shopped in the Santa Claus shop and took a selfie with the nose-picking elf, himself.  That shop is where we found a new friend.  Little dachshund.  Brought tears to our eyes.  Know why?  She had a tiny little stub of a tail.  Sniff, sniff.  Her name is Stubby.  Most of the town was closed already, so we just drove by the monstrous statue of Santa.  We couldn’t spend too much time there, though.  We had more places to go.  Chris found another National Park.

This one was in a place called Dover, Tennessee, right on the Cumberland River.  Important Civil War battle fought there.  But we faced one obstacle between us and the park … Kentucky.  Not to be deterred, we set out.  Chris drove and drove and drove.  She absolutely destroyed the mileage through Kentucky until we got to the last little corner before we entered Tennessee.  The road narrowed.  The road curved.  The road twisted.  Civilization became sparser and sparser.  We saw lots and lots of two things: cemeteries and Confederate flags flying.  And I was pretty sure I heard some banjos playing in the distance.  Finally we pulled into Dover, however, and once we tracked down the temporary visitors’ center, we began the driving tour.  Gotta say, this was one of the pretty ones.  Oh, the canon replicas were amazing, but the view of the river from the Park grounds were breathtaking.  I can see why Fort Donelson was important.  The tour took us through the expected park, but it continued into the nearby town as well.  and one of the places was a restored hotel where U.S. Grant demanded the unconditional surrender of the fort (That’s where he got his nickname – Unconditional Surrender Grant).  The highlight of the tour, though had to be the most unexpected sighting of our whole trip.  We found (using binoculars and the telescopic lens of our camera) a nesting bald eagle.  Amazing.  That one I’ll remember.

Our final stop of the day was not far from Dover.  I took Chris to Paris again.  We had dinner in the best restaurant in the city.  We took selfies at the base of the Eiffel Tower.  It was so romantic.  What?  Oh.  Paris.  Paris, Tennessee. 

Psalms 103:19 says, “The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.”

Father, it was sure exciting to see that eagle.  Your majestic creatures are so inspiring.  Amen.

October 1 – “Indiana travels”

I forgot to mention that I finally saw one of those redbirds Chris keeps insisting she sees everywhere we go up here.  Of course it took me until we got to St. Louis … in a gift shop … next door to the St. Louis Cardinals baseball stadium.  But I found one – Casey.  He was happy to join the team.

Well, we decided to switch hotels for the first time since we left home.  Why?  Well, this one was not very clean, and the AC didn’t work at all in the first room they had us in.  So they moved us.  The second was some better.  At least it was cool.  Then came breakfast.  In a word – horrible.  The whole experience was not one worth two nights, so we checked out the next morning and decoded to find a different place later.  As we drove to church we searched for all the barn quilts in the area.  We’ve done that kind of thing before.  It’s like going on a treasure hunt.

We went to church with some friends in Princeton, Indiana.  They didn’t know we were coming, so it was worth seeing the look on Wayne’s face as he slowly realized who it was that was asking if they allowed anybody to come to church there.  He said it took hearing my voice.  But then the voice that he recognized didn’t match the face he was seeing.  Too gray.  Thanks, Wayne.  Wendy knew us right away, though.  She’s been following our trip on FaceBook.  Their church plant just purchased a huge old church building built in 1869.  The stained glass windows in it have been appraised at over a million dollars.  They got the building for $40,000.  It still needs a lot of work to bring it up to code and usability, though.  Anybody up for a mission trip?

We stopped at Applebee’s for lunch.  They left us with a horrible legacy.  Their service was slower than … Denney’s.  I didn’t think it was possible.

In the afternoon we made our way to the site of the second tallest monument in the U.S., honoring the work of George Clark during the Revolutionary War.  He is the big brother of the guy who became famous as the second half of a duo.  Perhaps you’ve heard of them?  Lewis and Clark.  The Ranger there was another who was absolutely passionate about her job.  She loved talking, too.  Never stopped the whole time we were in the visitor’s center.  Sometimes it was to us, other times it was to anyone who would listen.  We also went into a basilica nearby that had a crypt under it with four bishops buried in it.  We thought about also walking across the bridge into Illinois, but it just looked too much like the causeway.  Too far to walk.

Last night we went to church with some other friends, the Cullison’s.  Actually we saw David because he had to preach.  Kim, however, stayed at home to cuddle with their brand new first grandbaby.  Kim … we were devastated that you chose him over us.  We understood completely, but we were devastated.  Oh, the new hotel we chose turned out to be seven minutes away from the church.  And it was very nice.  Same price as the last one, but way better on all counts.  But the final test approaches … breakfast.

Psalms 103:17-18 says, “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children — with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.”

Father, thank you for friends from long ago.  Be with the Wester’s as they work to get that church started.  Meet their every need in your way and in your time.  Amen.

September 30 – “630 feet high”

We woke up to some rather sad news yesterday.  Nathan called, and our elder dog Heidi apparently had an encounter with some kind of critter that chewed off half of her tail.  Nathan FaceTimed us so we could see the carnage.    Otherwise she seemed fine, though.  He took her on to the vet, who said she needed surgery to trim off the exposed tendons and muscles.  The plan is for Nathan to run the intensive care unit for the first day.  Then Kel will take her to his house for the long-term rehab until we get home.  Then Nathan called with a report from the surgery.  It wasn’t a critter interloper after all.  She apparently chewed off her own tail because of neuropathy.  Hey.  I have been diagnosed with neuropathy, too.  And there have been days when I was particularly hungry.  Just never have been able to reach my toes.  The rest of the story is that she will be wearing one of those evil cone things for a few weeks, and she has to take the same medication I am taking.  Geriatric dog taking the same meds I take.  Hmm …  Oh, and word has it she might be going by a new nickname.  Stubby?  

Back to our journey.  We passed through one town that had not one but two water towers.  One was marked “Cold” and the other “Hot.”  How do they do that?

Our next National Park was Ulysses S. Grant’s home near St. Louis.  We had to make our way through a pile of traffic.  They were all trying to get to the wild animal theme park next door.  The Ranger told us he has been indentured at this particular park since he was eleven years old.  But he was incredibly passionate about the park.  Best Ranger yet.

Then we made our way to the next National Park site.  To get there we had to weave our way through a really seedy part of town, and ended up parking on a levee about six feet from the River.  It was like parking right next to the beach on Labor Day weekend.  And then we had to disappear underground so we could ride the tram up.  Yep.  We went up to the top of the St. Louis Arch.  And yes, it is a National Park site.

Now that tram ride was a trip in more ways than one.  Five people had to squeeze into a tiny, egg-shaped container (Read here, Chris was less than happy at this wonderful opportunity to display her inherent claustrophobic tendencies) for the four minute ride to the top with the only view being the mechanical operations and the 1,076 steps.  Once at the top (630 feet high, by the way) we were emptied into a small observation room with 80 or 90 of our new best friends.  The room had several long, skinny windows on each side so we could share the view.  And that view was awesome.  I could see the inside of the Cardinals baseball stadium next door.  No game happening, though.  But awesome nonetheless.  Then came the three minute ride to the bottom.  Quicker going down than up.  Yep, I noticed that.  So did Chris.

We salvaged our car off the levee parking lot and headed to our next destination.  And then stopped.  And then started.  And then stopped.  And then started.  Terrible traffic, all vying for the one street that led to where we had to go to get out of town.  It took us about 45 minutes or so, but we finally hit the road headed east once again.

Psalms 103:13-14 says, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.”

Father, thank you for riding up and down that little tiny space capsule with us.  Amen.

September 29 – “Some Precious Moments ... with wildlife”

50 degrees in Precious Moments-ville.  Yikes.  But take heart.  It warmed all the way up to 70 eventually.  Breakfast at the hotel was a major fail, however.  The eggs and sausage were cold.  I mean really cold.  The waffles (I tried twice) stuck to the griddle, even with a ton of spray on the second attempt.  Ah, well … at least lunch is coming.

Now on the way to the Precious Moments chapel we experienced some glitches with Chris’ internal GPS system.  For some reason it didn’t want to turn right.  It took a second and then third command – “Right.  Right.  No right.”  It certainly corrected itself in time to find that chapel.  It was weird.  There were very few cars in the parking lot.  And as we walked over to the chapel for the tour, we found ourselves utterly alone.  Now that’s a strange feeling in any somber house of worship – to be alone with the Lord.  It was accentuated here because of the whole commercialized nature of the situation.  Two other couples eventually joined us, though, so we enjoyed the experience with our tiny group.  Come to find out, the group scheduled after us was a Diamond Tours group of 70 or 80 senior citizens from Ohio.  Glad we were there to open the place up.  After the tour we went to the gift shop.  And Chris stayed in there for … well, I don’t know how long.  But I do know she saw every item in there … twice. 

Next we returned to National Park mode and ended up in Diamond, Missouri.  George Washington Carver’s adopted Dad who used to be his slave master lived there.  We got our parks stamp and even did the little one mile hike they had set up.  But Chris said it didn’t count as a hike because I didn’t use my walking stick.  That and the path we started one was made of that tartan stuff they use for track courses in stadiums (That caused me to wonder about the whole hike thing, myself).  But it soon returned to gravel, so I’m holding out for hike all the way.

Now before our next stop, I have to interject this quick anecdote.  At one point in our travels Chris spotted a deer.  I was driving, so she “politely requested” that I stop the car so she could take a picture.  She whipped out that camera and aimed it, but apparently couldn’t get a good shot, so she slowly opened the door.  Meanwhile, it became apparent that the deer wasn’t so afraid of the huge metallic object advancing upon her.  So I began slowly inching the car forward.  So there we were, Chris perilously hanging out the now-moving, open car door, snapping pictures like a wildlife correspondent for National Geographic.  It was quite the thrilling scene.

So next.  On to the Wilson’s Creek battlefield somewhere near Springfield.  We passed up several unique opportunities on the way.  Things like the Uppydowny.org Caverns.  Wish I could have seen them.  They sounded so … uppy downy.  We did make a stop in Ozarkland, though.  Had to.  See, every billboard for miles insisted.  And as we entered the store, a guy coming out (from East Texas, by the way) told us he comes twice a year, and then the killer … this place has the best fudge ever.  How could we not try some?  He was right.  And on top of that, they sold Big Metal Chickens.  They were pretty proud of their Big Metal Chickens, though.  So I got a Small Fluffy one instead.  And it makes a highly obnoxious crowing sound.  Lovely.  Named him Barkley.

After that stop we had to detour because the entire freeway was shut down.  Not a problem for us.  We headed into the backwoods of Missouri with reckless abandon.  Our journey included several towns like Wentworth – population 126.  We finally arrived at our National Park destination, and who should join us but Molly Mouse.  She and Barkley thoroughly enjoyed the wide open spaces of the battlefield.  We saw and took pictures (close to a million, I’m sure) of the four deer we saw.  I also saw a fox, but he was running away at the time.  Oh, and we did some more hiking.  Yes.  I used my stick, so it was official hiking. 

Upon leaving the park site we took off for … somewhere else.  I was beginning to wonder where when we drove through Cuba.  Saw a field of alpacas there, too.  But that was soon in our rear view mirror as we sought out new life and new civilizations, boldly going where …

Psalms 103:12 says, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Father, thank you for the wildlife experiences.  Nothing quite as exciting as the surprise when we see another of your special creatures.  Amen.